Bitter
by Azurela
Summary: Roxas is cold, toward everyone around him, suffering after a traumatic experience- and to make matters worse, a creepy red-head decides to fall in love with him. Will Roxas be able to forget the past and love him back? Or will he never let it go?
1. Chapter 1

Rating: **M**

**Bitter**

Chapter 1

Summary: Roxas is cold, toward everyone around him, suffering after a traumatic experience- and to make matters worse, a creepy red-head decides to fall in love with him. Will Roxas be able to forget the past and love him back? Or will he never let it go?

A/N: Most of this was to vent. Meaning it'll be angsty.

Dedication to: Izzy-Lawliet, and My dear Mich as a birthday present.

--

_It all started when he saw the blond- hair the color of wheat, eyes the most brilliant shade of blue he'd ever seen- for the first time. No matter what he did after that… no matter how wrong it might be… he couldn't help but fall in love with him._

--

Roxas sighed audibly to himself, blue oceans glancing around. The blond was waiting outside in the somewhat chilly morning air for the school bus to come.

Despite how futile it was, he was desperately wishing that today was a dream. That it wasn't the first day of a new school year. That it was the beginning of summer again. That he… could just spend another whole three months enjoying life with his friends.

The screeching of tires and the smell of diesel exhaust brought him back to reality though. The blond groaned inwardly as the doors opened and he heard the obnoxious sound of little kids screaming already. Nonetheless, he adjusted the strap of his bag and stepped inside.

Roxas had always disliked the ride to school. None of his friends rode the bus and it seemed that he was a magnet for the people that everyone else would avoid like a plague.

Unsurprisingly, right after the blond sat down, an overly nice girl that no one seemed to like sat next to him. He was pretty sure that her name was Kairi. She smiled widely at him, tucking some of her red hair behind her ear before trying to start a conversation. Roxas immediately ignored her and put on his headphones, turning up the volume to his Zune. All the way. He wasn't interested in idle chatter.

--

_It was a day like any other. A young blond with eyes that could make the sea jealous, and beautiful golden hair that put a golden field of wheat to shame played outside- his parents had entrusted him with his uncle for the day as they would do on occasion._

_The blond was carefree- happy with the simplest of things. He also trusted people blindly. But then again it was to be expected- he was only six years old after all._

_"Roxas- time to come inside," the blond's uncle, called. Roxas smiled widely at the man with icy blue eyes, doing as he was told. Soon enough though, he was bored._

_"Luxord, will you play with me?" he pleaded. Luxord glanced at his nephew, heart skipping a beat and smiling at that angelic face._

_"Alright, Roxas. I've got the perfect game in mind- but if we play it, you have to remember, it's our secret."_

_The blond smiled widely. "Okay," he said happily._

_--_

Roxas woke to someone shaking him roughly, sitting bolt upright. He noticed that it was Kairi and realized that he must've fallen asleep on the way to school- they'd arrived already. He stretched slightly, not even bothering to thank her then got up, getting off the bus.

The day went on and the blond continued to resent it until he met up with his friends at lunch. His enthusiasm soon melted away when classes resumed though. Much to Roxas' dismay, he didn't seem to have any classes with his friends this year. So, he was glad when the day came to an end.

He would've liked to have spent some time with his friends after school but had to head to his job at the mall right away. The blond sighed, walking slowly in that direction.

--

Roxas didn't really care that he arrived five minutes late to a job that he hated. He had the thrilling job of working at a discount store at the mall. Much to his displeasure, he was to be stuck up front all night as the cashier.

The day passed slowly- Roxas unfortunately had been left with nothing to do. And, when he had them, most of the customers he had to deal with weren't particularly pleasant.

The blond huffed just before deciding to clean the windows for something to do. They needed it too - especially after some little brats had decided to draw pictures on them with their fingers.

So, Roxas got the window cleaner along with a rag and began to clean them, not stopping until he was done and satisfied with them. He was surprised to see someone at his counter, watching him intensely. The blond blinked. It was someone he'd never seen before.

He had red hair, styled in long spikes, cascading down his back. Beautiful green eyes complimented it perfectly, as did the black upside down triangle tattoos his skin. Roxas smiled at him pleasantly, remembering that it was his job to 'serve the customer first'.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said sweetly, getting behind his counter, "I didn't realize that you were there, you could have just yelled at me and I would have checked you out."

The red-head smirked slightly then lent closer to the blond. "Sorry," he said, smoothly, "I was too busy checking _you _out." Roxas frowned. It deepened when he glanced down and saw that the red-head was buying condoms. Then he looked up, smiling pleasantly.

"You're a creep," he said cheerfully. The red-head blinked when the blond swiftly bent down and picked up a phone to page somebody.

_"Sora to the front please, Sora to the front, thank you,"_ he said, voice resonating over the intercom. He moved to leave as soon as he arrived.

"Where are you going?" the red-head asked.

"On break," the blond replied curtly. The red-head smirked, watching him leave.

--

Roxas left the store, going to the food court and getting some coffee from Starbucks. He was more than mildly displeased when the creepy red-head sat next to him, abruptly getting up and leaving, becoming even more annoyed when he was followed.

"What the fuck do you want?" Roxas snapped after moving to his third seat.

"Well, for starters, your name," the red-head said. Roxas had taken the liberty of taking off his nametag. The blond glared at the red-head.

"Fuck you," he said icily.

_"Gladly,"_ the red-head whispered in his ear. Roxas slapped him, made a rude gesture involving his middle finger then started to storm off. The red-head immediately followed.

"Goddamnit, leave me alone," Roxas hissed, making his way back to the store.

The red-head chuckled. "Not a chance," following him up until he went into the break room, only stopping because only employees were allowed inside.

--

Roxas sat at the break table, running a hand through his hair before drinking his coffee. _Great._ Just what he needed to complete his _wonderful_ day: a creepy red-headed stalker.

The blond laid his head against the table, closing his eyes and trying to think about anything but the present.

--

_Luxord smiled at Roxas, the look in his eyes almost… predatory, and for the briefest of seconds the blond sensed that something wasn't right. He trusted his uncle though. He knew he'd never hurt him._

_Roxas watched as his uncle kneeled before him. "Close your eyes and keep them closed, sweetie," he whispered. Roxas gave him a questioning glance then did as he was told. He wasn't sure of what to think when a hand gripped his neck and Luxord's thumb ran across his lips. Nonetheless, he kept his eyes closed like he'd been told to._

_Or at least he did until something warm and soft brushed against his lips. Then something warm and wet entered his mouth._

_"L-Luxord… I-I don't like this game," the blond whispered when Luxord broke the kiss moments later._

_"But honey," he whispered, gripping Roxas' shoulders, "We're just getting started."_

--

Roxas' phone vibrated in his pocket and he groaned inwardly as his break came to an end. He could just see it now- that red-head would be waiting for him, smirking stupidly.

The blond sighed, getting up and throwing his cup away. He went out the door and glared icily at the red-head, who as he'd predicted, waiting for him. Smirking stupidly.

"Go away," the blond hissed, briskly walking back toward the front.

"Not until you tell me your name," the red-head who was taller replied, easily keeping up.

"It's 'not interested' now get lost."

The red-head's smirk widened. "I'm a valuable customer- you should be nicer to me."

Roxas stopped, glaring. "Just because you're a customer neither makes you valuable, nor does it mean that I have to put up with assholes like you."

The red-head stopped as well. "I _like_ you," he said, smirk turning into a Cheshire grin.

"That's _sick_," Roxas whispered, feeling nauseous as he remembered a pair of icy blue eyes and short blond hair that had belonged to a once beloved uncle.

"Why's that?" the red-head asked.

"For starters, you're a _guy_," Roxas said.

"You don't seem like the type to be close-minded," the red-head stated. Roxas scoffed.

"Says the whore who bought condoms," he said coldly.

The red-head smirked, bending toward the blond. "I didn't say that I'd be fucking girls, now did I?" he asked, lowly. Roxas stepped back.

"Stay the fuck away from me," he snapped before turning on his heel and quickly walking away. The red-head was about to follow when he noticed something on the floor. He smirked when he realized what it was, bending down and picking it up.

--

_"N-no!" the blond yelled, struggling as his shirt was removed._

_"You don't like me anymore, Roxas?" Luxord asked, looking hurt. Roxas looked at his uncle, feeling guilty._

_"Of course I do…" he said, voice giving away how guilty he felt._

_Luxord smiled. "Then let's play our special game, so I can show you how special you are to me."_

--

Roxas snapped out of his thoughts, literally wanting to bang his head against the counter when the red-head showed up and stood in front of it.

"What?! What do you want?! Didn't I tell you to stay away?!" He asked. The red-head smirked, bending toward the blond, while setting something on the counter.

"You dropped something," he said, smoothly. Roxas' eyes widened when he saw what it was. "See ya around, Rox-as," the red-head said, finally exiting the store.

Roxas could have shot himself for losing his nametag of all things and having the red-head find it.

--

-TBC-

A/N: How Roxas and Axel met? Yeah, some jerk actually said that to me. Anyway;

Love it so far? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks so much~

-Until next time


	2. Chapter 2

Rating: **M**

Summary: Roxas is cold, toward everyone around him suffering after a traumatic experience- and to make matters worse, a creepy red-head decides to fall in love with him. Will Roxas be able to forget the past and love him back? Or will he never let it go?

A/N: Right so. I'd like to point out: I made no promises that this was going to be a happy story. 'thas its genres for a reason. I'd tell you- but I'd prefer not to give away my plot. I'm sure you understand.

I'd also like to thank everyone for the reviews! I'm glad that you like this so much ^^

AND- I'm so very happy- if you read my profile- I said my stories would be delayed because my USB got lost. Well… I got it back :'D. Enjoy the chapter.

**Bitter**

Chapter 2

_--_

_Roxas looked away as his uncle pushed him to the floor. "That's right, sweetie, just relax and stay still," he whispered gently before capturing Roxas' lips again. He didn't really care that he could be damaging Roxas permanently. He wanted him and nothing was going to stop him._

_Roxas squirmed under Luxord when he unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down with one hand while still kissing him. "Just relax," Luxord whispered, centimeters away. "Trust me," he breathed, pulling down Roxas' underwear too._

_Roxas closed his eyes, shaking as his clothes were removed. He began to cry when he was touched in a very private place. "Don't cry, honey, you're very special," Luxord whispered gently, kissing Roxas' cheeks._

_Shades of blue locked, just before Roxas cried harder as one of Luxord's fingers slipped inside of him. The older blond didn't stop, thrusting his finger inside faster and deeper, becoming aroused by the sight. He smiled as Roxas' body spasmed at the rough touch and he cried out in pain when he added a second, slowly stretching the boy. _

"_Shh," Luxord whispered, kissing Roxas slowly as he pulled his fingers out, to distract him as he unbuttoned his pants, pulling them as well as his boxers down. He lifted then parted Roxas' legs just before pulling away. "We're just getting to the best part," he whispered, positioning himself and slowly pushing into the blonde before he could react._

_Luxord felt the hair on the back of his neck rise when Roxas screamed and shivered in delight._

--

Roxas screamed, sitting bolt upright, covered in a cold sweat. He began shaking, remembering his nightmare. It was so real, just like when it'd happened.

The blond had begun to have nightmares again, like he'd had when he was younger. They'd gotten worse right after the blond had met a certain, creepy, red-head whose name he'd found out, after being followed around by him for a month, was Axel.

Now, nearly every time he closed his eyes, he'd recall what had happened to him. Vividly. He loathed the red-head for it. But then again, he supposed that it wasn't entirely Axel's fault.

They'd actually started again right after Roxas had accidentally overheard his older brother, Cloud, say that Luxord's parole hearing was coming up. Yes, the blonde's uncle had been punished… but at a cost.

Roxas' mother hadn't wanted to believe that her brother was a pedophile or a rapist. In fact, when he'd told her, she'd slapped him and called him a liar. Their dad left them shortly after that, which she'd also blamed him for.

Only Roxas' brother, Cloud, had believed him, was the only one who'd cared. He'd become his legal guardian when Roxas turned eight- on his eighteenth birthday.

Roxas couldn't really remember much about either of his parents anymore. Just that his mother's name was Larxene and that she'd had blonde hair.

The blond closed his eyes, trying to forget everything on his mind, hoping to be able to get back to sleep. He had to work in the morning. As soon as he closed his eyes though, it all came rushing back.

--

_Roxas screamed again and again, crying as he was penetrated over and over._

_Luxord didn't seem to care, not even when the blond was torn open, broken and bleeding. He just continued, going faster and faster, gripping that small frame as he came inside, leaving Roxas feeling nauseous and violated._

_Roxas screamed again, crying harder when the older blond finally pulled out. The younger blond flinched when Luxord touched his cheek, closing his eyes as he shook._

"_Remember, Roxas, playing together was your idea," he whispered, making Roxas look at him again. "And don't tell anyone- you don't want me to get in trouble do you? I'm your friend right, sweetie?" _

_Roxas trembled then nodded, making Luxord smile. "Good," he whispered, capturing the younger blond's lips once again._

--

Roxas' eyes shot open and he quickly got up, feeling nauseous and running for the bathroom. He barely made it to the toilet before emptying the contents of his stomach in it.

When he was finished, he flushed the toilet and looked up, seeing his older brother standing in the doorway. Roxas quickly looked away, feeling guilty.

"Sorry for waking you," he whispered. Cloud shook his head and came into the bathroom.

"It's alright," he said gently. "Roxas, are you alright?" he asked, concerned. Roxas looked down, shaking his head.

"N-no, I'm n-not," he whispered, starting to cry. Cloud hastily knelt down, pulling the younger blond into a tight embrace, letting him cry into his chest like he used to. Roxas hugged his brother back as he gently rocked him and stroked his back.

"You're dreaming again, aren't you?" Roxas nodded weakly. "Do you want to go back to counseling?" Cloud asked.

"No!" Roxas said a bit forcefully. He'd hated that. He'd hated having to see some stranger to talk about his feelings. Hated feeling like a freak. "Please… no…" he whispered when Cloud tightened his grip. He hated that he'd only ever trusted one of them… and when he was at his worst, she'd abandoned him. Just had left without a word.

"You're not going to get better unless you do…" Cloud insisted. Roxas shook his head.

"No… I'm just worried because Luxord's up for parole… and some creep has been bothering me." Cloud gripped his little brother protectively.

"If he doesn't quit bugging you, let me know or bring him to meet me and I'll take care of him for you." Roxas looked up, laughing lightly.

"I know you will," he said smiling. Cloud returned the smile, kissing Roxas' forehead lovingly as the younger blond yawned.

"Do you want me to stay with you or will you be okay?"

"Stay with me, please," Roxas whispered. Cloud smiled warmly.

"Okay."

_--_

"_Luxord… Do you know why Roxas is limping?" Roxas' mother questioned when she saw him._

"_Yeah, he fell down the stairs- I took him to the hospital though. They said he'd be fine. Nothing to worry about."_

_Larxene smiled gratefully. "What would we do without you? Thank you so much."_

_--_

Roxas frowned deeply the next day when he arrived at work. He did his best to ignore a certain red-head as he walked past him and went inside the store, getting behind his counter and punching in. It was rather hard to though- what with said red-head following him closely.

"Good morning beautiful," He said lowly. Roxas closed his eyes.

"Please go away." The red-head smirked.

"More pleasant than usual, I see." Roxas glared at the counter.

"I'm not feeling well, so will you please just go away and find someone else to be creepy with?" Today was the day Luxord might gain his freedom… and he didn't really want to be harassed.

"Since you asked so nicely," Axel said, making Roxas look up at him. "Feel better soon, okay?" he whispered. Roxas blinked. The red-head actually looked… concerned. The blond blinked again when he left.

"Okay," he whispered back, unsure of if the red-head could hear him or not.

--

"_Mom, where are you going?" Roxas asked._

"_Your father and I are going to Cloud's concert, we'll be back in a few hours. Until then, your uncle will be watching you." Roxas immediately went to her, gripping her tightly. "What are you doing, Roxas? We have to go." Roxas shook his head, closing his eyes and holding on more tightly._

"_Please… take me with you," he begged._

"_Roxas… You don't like concerts. You think they're boring," she pointed out. "And I don't want to hear it._

"_Please…" Roxas begged, starting to cry._

"_Stop it, Roxas," Larxene commanded, pulling away. "You're just inconveniencing everyone. I'm not changing my mind. Luxord's already here," she said going to the door and opening it. Roxas cried harder._

"_What's wrong sweetie?" Luxord asked, seeing Roxas and going to him as his mother thanked him and left. The blond backed away. Luxord kneeled and gripped Roxas' shoulders. "Didn't you miss me?" Roxas cried harder. "I missed you," he said, smirking. "We're going to have lots of fun together, Roxas," he whispered, kissing the younger blond forcefully._

"_S-st-op," Roxas begged._

"_I can't," Luxord breathed, "You're too addicting."_

--

Roxas bit his lower lip fighting back tears as he remembered more. He actually missed Axel. At least having the red-head around was distracting.

The blond must've looked as miserable as he felt because someone stopped in front of his counter looking very concerned. Roxas looked up. It was his manager, Tifa.

"What's wrong, Roxas?" she asked. "Are you ill?"

Roxas halfway smiled at the pretty girl with black hair. She was his brother's girlfriend.

"Kindof…" he admitted. Her look of worry deepened.

"Why don't you go take a break then," she said, "If you're still not feeling well, you can go home. I won't make you stay."

"But I just got here…" the blond halfway protested. Tifa sighed, getting behind the counter.

"Just go," she said, smiling slightly. Roxas smiled back.

"Thank you, Tifa."

--

Roxas went to the food court, choosing a table at random, sitting and closing his eyes. He really hoped his uncle wouldn't be released.

--

"_Please, Luxord, I don't want to play today-"Roxas said, crying harder as he was forced down. Every time for the next two years that they were alone, the older blond would insist on 'playing' and have his way with Roxas._

"_Of course you do," Luxord whispered. "Don't lie to me- I know you want this," laughing lightly. "You're just asking for it. You're just a little whore, aren't you?" Roxas closed his eyes, turning his head to the side, and clenching his jaw as his uncle entered his body._

_He couldn't do this much longer. He wouldn't. He'd kill himself first._

--

Roxas jumped when a hand touched his shoulder, opening his eyes and staring straight into vivid green.

"I thought you didn't feel well," Axel said.

"Which's why I'm out here," Roxas replied, closing his eyes again.

"Oh. I saw you so I got you some coffee for you," the red-head said.

"No thank you. I was just about to go back."

"You should go home if you don't feel well." Roxas opened his eyes again, glancing at the red-head.

"Do my ears deceive me, or are you actually concerned?" Axel smirked, bending toward the blond.

"Maybe," he whispered lowly. Roxas frowned at their proximity.

"Gotta go. Don't follow me."

"Aww, but Rox-as, following you around is so much fun- almost like a game-" he started to tease, but stopped when the blond's eyes widened. Roxas quickly got up, biting his lower lip and walking away, leaving a very confused red-head behind.

_--_

"_Mom… I have to tell you something," Roxas said, biting his lower lip and looking downcast. He wouldn't even look at his brother who was also in the room._

"_What is it, Roxas?" She asked, only halfway paying attention to him._

"_Luxord… he," Roxas started, but stopped, beginning to cry, "he takes of my clothes and he touches me and he… he…" He said, stopping as he cried harder. Larxene looked at Roxas, eyes widened. "He c-comes-inside m-me…" Roxas barely managed. Larxene pursed her lips._

"_Why would you say something like that?" she asked._

"_Because it's true! He did it today when you weren't here-"Roxas started but stopped when she slapped him across the face._

"_You horrible, wicked child! Lying like that!" She screeched, hitting him again and again as she called him a liar. "My brother would never do that! Never!"_

_Roxas trembled and closed his eyes, expecting to get hit again but the blow never came. After a few moments he opened his eyes and saw that his brother was between them, holding their mother's wrists._

"_Don't you dare touch Roxas again," Cloud hissed. "Just because you're too blind to see the truth doesn't mean he should have to suffer more. I've seen how Luxord looks at him. I just had no idea that the sick fuck would take things that far," he said, pushing her away. He turned and Roxas flinched at the cold look on his brother's face._

"_Roxas, honey, don't be afraid, come here," he said gently. After a moment of hesitation, the blond went to his brother. He winced when he picked him up._

"_Where do you think you're going?" Larxene demanded as Cloud grabbed his car keys._

"_To the police. I'm going to stop that sicko from ever touching Roxas again." _

_Roxas closed his eyes and gripped his brother more tightly. He felt relief, despite his mother's continual yelling and demands for Cloud to stop._

--

Roxas glanced at the clock, relieved to finally see that there were only fifteen minutes left until he could go home.

The blond made the closing announcements and then, as soon as the doors were locked, he cleaned the front, getting it ready for the next day. When he was finished and Tifa had finished counting money, they opened the doors and exited the store. Roxas said goodbye just before they parted ways.

The blond smiled, glad to be outside as he walked to his car but dreading going home to find out the news about Luxord- he didn't want to find out, though the possibility would be slim, that he'd gotten out.

Roxas was too preoccupied to take notice of anything, not even a certain blond with icy blue eyes leaning against the dumpster to his right as he passed.

The blond cried out in alarm as he was grabbed from behind, mouth covered, and dragged out of view from passersby. Roxas closed his eyes, crying out again as he was roughly shoved against a brick wall.

The blond opened his eyes after a few moments, widening them when his head stopped spinning. The other blond smirked wildly.

"Hello,_ sweetie,_ did you miss me?" he whispered. Roxas began to panic but couldn't move- he was petrified. "I missed you- _imagine_ how _delighted_ I was to see you by chance in the mall. You're even more beautiful now. Oh, sweetie- we're going to have so much fun together, just like we used to."

Roxas closed his eyes. "No!" He yelled. "Somebody, anybody, please! Help me!" he started to scream. Luxord sighed.

"Now, now none of that," he said, bringing the rag he'd been holding into plain view and pressing it to Roxas' face. He'd been waiting all day for Roxas to leave.

The blond struggled but his efforts were futile- Luxord was far stronger and soon the drug it'd been dowsed with began to take effect. "There, that's better," Luxord whispered. He smirked again when Roxas went limp.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Love it? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks so much~


	3. Chapter 3

Rating: **M**

Summary: Roxas is cold, toward everyone around him suffering after a traumatic experience- and to make matters worse, a creepy red-head decides to fall in love with him. Will Roxas be able to forget the past and love him back? Or will he never let it go?

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, and especially to my lovely BETA, Izzy.

**Bitter**

Chapter 3

--

_Roxas closed his eyes as he was examined- he absolutely hated it. It made him feel even more violated._

_"They're almost done, honey," Cloud promised, gripping Roxas' hand and glaring at the doctor icily._

_The doctor cleared his throat after a moment. "Uhm yes, there was definitely… penetration." Roxas closed his eyes, feeling somewhat relieved because there was proof. "There will be a few more tests to make sure that Roxas is alright then you'll be free to go."_

"_Have you gotten the bastard's DNA off of Roxas?" Cloud asked._

"_Yes, the police already have it- the other tests should be done in an hour or two-"_

"_And you can call me when they're done. I'm taking Roxas with me. My brother's been through enough, thank you."_

_--_

"_Guilty," Roxas heard the jury say about three months later. The blond hugged his brother, crying tears of happiness, glad his nightmare was over._

_In that time, Cloud had turned eighteen, gotten custody of Roxas, found a place to live and the two had moved out. He'd also arranged for Roxas to begin counseling sessions._

_The older blond was happy that everything else had gone well in regards to the hospital- all that was left to do was take Roxas home._

_Cloud was just about to tell him that they could go, when his phone began to ring. "Hello?" he asked, answering it._

"_Mr. Strife?" A voice on the other end asked._

"_Yes, this' Cloud," Cloud stated._

"_Hello…this is Doctor White from St. Joe's Hospital…" the voice began._

"_Is something wrong with Roxas?" Cloud asked, gripping his younger brother._

"_We're not sure. It seems that one of his labs got messed up. It was just discovered…could you bring him in at your convenience just so we can double check?"_

_Cloud took a deep breath. "Alright. We'll be in later today."_

_--_

Roxas opened his eyes hesitantly when he came to. He immediately closed them again. His head was pounding. He groaned softly and tried to move a hand to his head but found that he couldn't. They were above his head, tied and attached to something. Roxas opened his eyes wide, panicking and remembering what had happened.

The blond looked around, seeing that he was in his car in the passenger seat, lying down, and that his wrists were bound to the headrest with zip ties. He froze when he heard someone chuckle beside him.

"Welcome back," a voice whispered. Roxas closed his eyes, feeling the hair on the back of his neck rise. The blond pressed himself back against the seat when he felt something heavy sit on top of him, knowing what it was. "I took the liberty of moving your car so that no one will disturb us," the older blond whispered, gripping Roxas' shoulders. Luxord frowned when the younger blond began to scream for help and covered his mouth, forcing his head back. "Hush now, I'd hate to gag you, got it?" Roxas nodded and he let go. Luxord smirked and bent down, pressing his lips to Roxas'. Roxas clamped his jaw shut. "Open your mouth," he commanded. Roxas refused. Luxord slapped him and repeated the command.

"If you stick anything in my mouth, I'll bite it off," Roxas spat. The blond winced when Luxord gripped his hair, forcing him to look at him.

"Aggravate me and I'll make you suffer," Luxord warned, tightening his grip. "Bite me and I'll rip out every single tooth in your mouth, understand? Now open your goddamn mouth. I will not say it again." Roxas shook and closing his eyes, relaxed his jaw. Luxord immediately pressed their lips together, thrusting his tongue inside Roxas' unresisting mouth, kissing him forcefully and possessively.

Roxas lay docile as Luxord worked his way down his neck but started to struggle when the older blond raised his shirt. "No!" he began to yell but stopped when Luxord slapped him.

Roxas closed his eyes again, shaking as the other blond claimed one of his nipples with his teeth, biting, sucking and licking before switching to the other. Roxas struggled again, hating how his breathing was becoming shallow and his body was heating up.

The blond opened his eyes wide when Luxord shifted and started to unbutton and unzip his pants. "No, please, stop!" Roxas began to beg. He didn't care if Luxord would hurt him later; he had to at least try to stop him.

Roxas' begging turned into screaming for help when Luxord slapped him so hard that he saw the world spin. The younger blond continued to scream, no matter how futile it might be until Luxord took the rag from before and stuffed it into his mouth.

"There, that's better," he whispered, picking up where he'd left off. Roxas began to cry when a hand slipped past his boxers and began to stroke him. "Shhh, sweetie, its okay," Luxord whispered, kissing his cheek. Roxas sobbed audibly when that hand wrapped around him and began to move up and down. The blond cried uncontrollably as Luxord began to pull down his pants and boxers.

There was a loud bang against the car door and Luxord paused. He glanced out the window, and not seeing anything, continued, pulling Roxas' pants and boxers down to his knees. He stopped again when there was another bang, halfway growling.

"I'll be right back okay sweetie? Don't do anything stupid." Roxas closed his eyes, nodding as Luxord sat up and unlocked the car, getting out to investigate, closing the door behind him.

Roxas began to shake when he heard the driver's door open and then close moments later. He flinched when someone touched him but opened his eyes when they took the rag out of his mouth. Roxas' eyes widened when he saw who it was.

"Hey are you okay?" he asked, "Do you need any help? I heard screaming and yelling as I was jogging, so I came to investigate and- woah, R-Roxas? Is that you?" he asked, getting a closer look at the blond and hastily beginning to take off his jacket to cover him up.

"What are you doing, Axel?!" Roxas half yelled, panicking, "Lock the doors!" The redhead hurriedly fumbled with the lock, locking it. It was just in time too - Luxord, having heard Roxas, returned to the car, only moments too late. The angry blond pounded on the window and reached for something as Axel searched for the car keys in the dark. "Drive!" Roxas yelled when he pulled out a gun.

"Where's the key?!" Axel asked.

"There's a spare above the visor!" Roxas said, panicking as Luxord aimed the gun at the redhead.

Axel got the car started and into gear, starting to take off just as the gun went off. Roxas screamed, closing his eyes as the back passenger window was shot out. Axel immediately increased the speed, taking off as fast as possible.

When they were several miles away, the redhead stopped the car, and took off his jacket, covering Roxas up. Then he reached over and took off the headrest.

"What was that all about?" He asked, helping Roxas sit up. "Roxas?" he asked, stopping when the blond pulled his knees up to his chest and began to cry. "I'll take you to the police station, okay?" Roxas nodded, crying harder.

--

By the time the two arrived at the police station, Roxas had cried himself to sleep. Axel gently shook him then looked away, allowing the blond some privacy, as he pulled up his pants and boxers. The blond was surprised that he hadn't dreamed.

"Thank you," Roxas whispered, handing the redhead his jacket.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Axel asked. Roxas nodded. He didn't want to be alone. "Okay," Axel said, turning off the car and getting out. Roxas was thoroughly surprised when the redhead came around the car and opened the door for him. Hesitantly, he accepted the redhead's hand and stood.

"Roxas… what happened?" the redhead asked as they started to walk inside. Roxas bit his lower lip. He knew that the redhead deserved some sort of explanation.

"My uncle got out jail today," Roxas said, pausing at the door and gripping the handle. "I guess I'm still his favorite toy," he said bitterly.

"That was your uncle…? Holy shit-" The redhead said. "What did he go to jail for?" Roxas gripped the door handle more tightly.

"I'll tell you later."

--

Axel waited with Roxas once the blond had finished filing a police report. An officer named Leon had cut the zip ties off of his wrists and was currently examining Roxas' car with the other officers.

"Do you, uhm, need a ride home?" Axel asked.

"No thanks I should be fine-" Roxas started, stopping when he thought of home. And of a very protective older brother who was probably very worried.

"What's wrong, Roxas?" Axel asked as the blond patted his pockets. Roxas was relieved to find that his phone was still in his back pocket. He was guessing that either Luxord had his regular keys or that they were in his car. Roxas opened his phone, seeing that his brother had called him fifteen times.

"Shit," Roxas muttered, dialing Cloud's number. "My brother's probably very worried about me," he said, looking at Axel. The redhead nodded, falling silent. Roxas closed his eyes as the phone rang.

_Ring… Ring… Ri-_

"_Roxas?"_ Came Cloud's voice.

"Hi Cloud…" Roxas said.

"_Roxas do you have any idea of what time it is?"_ Roxas glanced at the police station's clock and winced.

"A quarter to three in the morning…"

"_Yes. Nearly three in the morning. Where the hell are you? Where have you been? You'd better be on your way home. Luxord-"_

"Got released," Roxas said quietly.

"_Yes he- how did you know that?"_ Cloud asked. Roxas bit his lower lip, starting to cry. _"Roxas, honey, calm down. Where are you? Are you alright?"_ Cloud asked, obviously panicking. Roxas cried harder. He barely felt Axel wrap an arm around him and hug him. The redhead took the phone. _"Roxas?"_ Cloud asked again.

"Uhm, no," Axel said.

"_Who the hell are you? Why the fuck are you with my little brother?" _

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, big brother," Axel said. "First off. Name's Axel. Second, Roxas is too upset at the moment to talk so I took the phone. I'm with him because I took him to the police station."

"_Oh God,"_ Cloud said covering his mouth. _"Please tell me he didn't get raped again." _

"Wh-what?" Axel asked, eyes widening.

"_Did he get raped?"_ Cloud snapped. Roxas closed his eyes, obviously having heard his brother. The blond shook his head no.

"He shook his head no… so I must've saved him in time," Axel said, somewhat relieved. He closed his eyes, thinking. _Again?_

"_You… saved him…? Can I talk to him when he calms down, please?"_ Cloud asked. Axel nodded, completely forgetting that Cloud couldn't see the gesture and handed the phone to Roxas.

"Hi Cloud," Roxas whispered.

"_Roxas… what happened?"_ Cloud asked more calmly. Roxas bit his lower lip.

"Luxord must've seen me at the mall, so he knows where I work. He waited for me to get off and grabbed me from behind and dragged me out of sight. He… he said that we were going to play, just like we used to," Roxas said, starting to cry again. "When I screamed for help, he drugged me, took my car keys, bound my hands and drove to a secluded area where he… he tried to r-rape me," Roxas said, crying harder. "But… Axel heard me screaming and saved me in time," he sobbed. Axel blinked. _Play?_

"…_What was Axel doing at that secluded place in the middle of the night for?" _Cloud asked.

"Jogging, I guess," Roxas said, smiling slightly at the thought.

"_Odd…"_ Cloud muttered. _"Do you need a ride home, honey, or will you be able to drive?"_

Roxas shook his head. "The police are investigating my car for evidence and Luxord shot out one of my windows, so I shouldn't drive-"

"_I'll be there to get you shortly then,"_ Cloud said.

"Alright," Roxas said. "I'll see you soon," before hanging up. The blond closed his eyes, realizing that Axel's arm was still around him. He hugged the redhead back.

"Thank you for saving me," he whispered.

"Not a problem. Look, Roxas… I'm sorry I was a jerk before…" Axel started.

"Yeah you were," Roxas said, looking up at the redhead who immediately blinked then smiled.

"That's part of why I like you," he whispered. Roxas looked at the redhead questioningly. "You're blunt, straight forward and good at standing up for yourself."

"Why else?" Roxas asked.

"I'll tell you another time," the redhead said. "And really… about before… I'm sorry."

Roxas shrugged, glancing away. "I guess I can forgive you, since you saved me."

"Hey… Roxas…? Can I take you out sometime so I can get to know you better?" Axel asked after a moment. Roxas closed his eyes, about to reply when the door to the police station opened.

"Roxas!" A familiar voice exclaimed. Roxas opened his eyes, smiling as his brother enveloped him in a tight embrace. "I'm so glad that you're okay," he said.

"Me too," Roxas whispered, hugging him back. "Cloud, this is Axel," he said when Cloud let go. "Axel, this is Cloud," he said, introducing them.

"Hi," Axel said, shaking Cloud's hand.

"Thank you for saving Roxas, I'll never be able to repay you," Cloud said.

"Not a problem," the redhead replied, retracting his hand.

"Cloud, would it be alright if Axel stayed at our house tonight?" Roxas asked suddenly. The older blond looked surprised, as did the redhead.

"You two are friends?" He questioned. Roxas smiled.

"Something along those lines."

--

-TBC-

A/N: There was chapter three-

Love it? Hate it? Letting me know will be greatly appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

Rating: **M**

Summary: Roxas is cold, toward everyone around him suffering after a traumatic experience- and to make matters worse, a creepy red-head decides to fall in love with him. Will Roxas be able to forget the past and love him back? Or will he never let it go?

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed.

I apologize for being slow- I've gotten busy, especially after finding four abandoned kittens and taking care of them/ giving them love. Demanding little things, they are. And I shall have them till the end of August.

So now I've five cats zooming around my apartment x-x;

I always knew I'd be a crazy cat lady one day.

**Bitter**

Chapter 4

--

The first thing Roxas did when they got home was take a shower. And leave Axel alone with Cloud, feeling very awkward.

"So, did you and Roxas meet before tonight?" Cloud asked. The red-head had been sitting on the sofa, spacing out and wondering why Roxas had invited him over. He really doubted that he was forgiven already.

"Oh, uhm kindof," Axel halfway mumbled.

"How did you meet? What is your relationship?"

"We're... friends..." Axel said, looking at Cloud hesitantly. He had no doubt that the man would kill him and make it look like an accident if he thought he was a threat.

"Why hasn't Roxas mentioned you before now then?" Cloud asked eyes narrowing. Axel's eyes widened and he nervously glanced away.

"Well, the 'friends' bit is recent... as in tonight. I was kind of a jerk before..."

"As long as you're not that creep who was bothering him for the better part of a month, I'm fine with that," Cloud said. Axel winced and closed his eyes. Seeing this, Cloud leaned back in his chair, examining the red-head. "You're him, aren't you?" he asked finally. "Better tell me the truth because if I find out differently later, you'll wish you'd stayed away from my brother."

Axel glanced away before speaking. "Congratulations, you hit the nail on the head." He wasn't very surprised when Cloud came up to him and loomed over him.

"Why the _fuck_ would you do that to someone?" he barked. The red-head halfway suspected that this was why Roxas had really invited him over.

"Because," he said, halfway smiling nonetheless, "Something about him captured my attention and I knew that I wouldn't be able to forget about him no matter how hard I tried," he said, emerald locking with ocean blue. "I apologize if I was too forward. That's just how I am."

Cloud frowned deeply, knowing that Axel was serious about his brother. "Get out of my house," he snapped. He had to protect him... He wouldn't let Roxas get hurt even more.

Axel looked at the blond, evidently confused. "Why?" he asked, "Because I like Roxas?"

"I don't need a reason. Just get out."

"Cloud?" Came Roxas' voice. The red-head and the older blond both looked at Roxas. He was dressed in his pajamas and standing in the doorway. It looked like he'd been there for a while. "Do you not like my guest?" Roxas asked.

"No, I don't," Cloud said, glaring at Axel.

"Will you try, for me?" Roxas asked quietly.

Cloud took a deep breath. "Fine. But," he said, glare becoming more icy, "don't think for one second that I'm not watching you," he said, pointing at Axel.

"Cloud!" Roxas said sternly. The older blond went to his brother, smiling.

"I'm just kidding, honey," he said, hugging Roxas, but glaring at Axel as he did. "Don't stay up too much later, okay?" Roxas nodded then watched his brother head for his room. He sat next to Axel once they were alone.

The red-head closed his eyes, leaning back. "He wasn't kidding," he said. Roxas smiled.

"I know."

The blond sat there for a moment before pulling his knees to his chest and hugging them tightly. "Believe it or not, but I didn't invite you over to be scrutinized by him."

"Why _did _you invite me over here then?" Axel asked.

"Because you asked me a serious question and deserve a proper answer," Roxas said, resting his chin on his knees and glancing away.

"And?" Axel asked, nervously, watching the blond, anticipatory.

"I can't date you," Roxas whispered.

"Why?" Axel asked. Roxas continued to look away. "Roxas, please-" Axel said gently, resting a hand on the blond's back. "Just tell me." Roxas didn't move and Axel bit his lower lip. "Why won't you tell me why you won't even give me a chance?" he asked, sounding hurt.

"You wouldn't understand..." Roxas whispered.

"Give me a chance to," Axel whispered. _"Please."_ Roxas glanced at Axel and the red-head was surprised to see a look of pain written across that beautiful face. He'd been expecting uncertainty. "Roxas?" Axel asked. The blond bit his lower lip and looked down, thinking.

"If I give you a chance will you be happy and let it go?"

"If you let me take you out on a date, I'll be the happiest person in the world."

Roxas closed his eyes then sat up. "Alright," he said, making the red-head smile widely. "One date," opening his eyes. "Tomorrow. If you're busy, too bad," he said standing and really hoping the red-head would be busy. He paused when Axel gripped his wrist.

"No, tomorrow's perfect," he said eagerly. Their eyes locked and Roxas regretted saying yes already. The blond glanced away, shrugging.

"I'm going to bed now. I promised Cloud." The red-head nodded. "Oh and if I were you, I wouldn't stay up much later," he said, pulling away. "You won't be sleeping in- Cloud will most likely wake you when he leaves unless you're a heavy sleeper."

"Alright. Uhm… where do you want me to sleep?" Axel asked. Roxas shrugged.

"Wherever."

"So with you is fine?" Axel joked, laughing lightly until Roxas paused. "Roxas… what's wrong?" Axel asked, standing too. The blond tensed when hands gripped his shoulders. He hesitated for a moment before speaking.

"Will you?" Roxas asked quietly.

"Will I what?"

"Will you sleep in my room?" Roxas asked.

"You're sure?" Axel asked, surprised. The blond slipped out of the red-head's grasp and turned around. He looked like he was about ready to cry.

"The only thing I'm sure of," Roxas said, their eyes locking, "is that I don't want to be alone… and I… I can't worry Cloud any more so will you please-" he began to ask, voice shaking but stopped when the red-head hugged him.

"Of course I'll stay with you," he whispered, feeling guilty for nearly forgetting about what had just happened to Roxas. Of course the blond would be hesitant to date him…

"Thank you," Roxas whispered, closing his eyes and hugging the red-head back. "My room's this way," he said, pulling away and leading Axel to a room that was a few doors away from Cloud's room. The red-head noted that it was across from the bathroom. Roxas turned on the light and Axel observed the newly lit room, wanting to remember every detail.

It was average in size- if not a little small. The floors in Roxas' room, like in the rest of the house, were wooden and littered here and there with articles of clothing. The walls were a pale gray-blue, the bedding a darker blue, perfectly made on a twin sized bed positioned next to a wooden dresser. Axel also noted that there was a window to the right of the bed. A night stand was below it and the curtains, the same shade of blue as the bedding were drawn.

"Do you move in your sleep?" Roxas asked, pulling the red-head out of his thoughts.

"No," he said, shaking his head.

"Good," the blond said. "You'd better not snuggle either, or you'll quickly find yourself on the floor."

"Dually noted," the red-head said, smirking slightly.

"What?" Roxas asked, giving the red-head an odd look.

"Nothing," Axel said, shutting the door, still smirking. Roxas looked at him suspiciously then walked toward the bed. Pausing after turning on the lamp, he closed his eyes, took off his pants and then quickly got into bed.

Roxas glanced at the red-head when the overhead light shut off. Axel had removed his pants as well. Roxas' eyes widened when he took off his shirt as he made his way to the bed. The red-head smirked, seeing the blond watching him.

"I'd say something, but I'm afraid it wouldn't be appropriate," he whispered, joining him. Roxas' eyes narrowed.

"Do and you can forget the date." He said, disliking how some of Axel's previous attitude was returning. He couldn't help but smile when the red-head pouted, though.

"Fine, I'll behave, I promise," the red-head said, almost childishly. Roxas turned away from him, smile widening as he turned off the light.

"Goodnight, Axel."

"Goodnight, Roxas," the red-head whispered back.

--

Roxas woke the next morning, halfway groaning when he glanced at his alarm clock. It was nearly seven in the morning.

Normally he wouldn't have a problem with this but last night, he hadn't gotten much sleep and usually after waking up, he couldn't fall asleep again, no matter how hard he tried. Roxas decided that it was worth a try though, so he turned onto his other side, but froze when he saw Axel sleeping next to him. He'd forgotten that he was there.

Roxas looked at the sleeping red-head, biting his lower lip as he took him in.

The blond couldn't help but think that the red-head was… attractive. In fact, the red-head was pretty perfect- not counting the times he opened his mouth. Roxas continued to observe Axel, which was much easier, now that the red-head was sleeping. He didn't know when he'd get another chance to.

The red-head had that shock of bright red hair- of course. But offsetting it was beautifully pale skin, and had the red-head been awake, his brilliant emerald eyes would've complimented it perfectly. Roxas also noted that he was extremely tall and thin- but his thoughts were interrupted when the red-head shifted in his sleep, stretching before throwing an arm over the blond.

Roxas blushed slightly, feeling his heart pound when as the sheets fell to the Axel's waist. The red-head must've jogged quite frequently, he noted or done some other form of exercise. He was definitely in shape.

Roxas felt even more attraction for the red-head as he stared at him. He knew that he would've probably fallen for him long ago, had circumstances been different.

The blond immediately closed his eyes, feeling self-loathing for even thinking that…

But… it was true…

Roxas sighed opening his eyes after a few minutes, watching the red-head sleep.

Why did his life have to be complicated? Why did Luxord have to like him? Better yet- why did Luxord have to get out of jail?

Why did _Axel_ have to like him? Why couldn't the red-head find someone else to be enamored with? He could most definitely have anyone else with very little effort on his part- so why did he have to pick him?

The red-head stirred for a second time, almost as if he felt Roxas watching him, stretching again just before opening his eyes. His breathing became irregular as he returned to consciousness. Roxas watched with mild interest as the red-head focused in on him.

Axel looked at Roxas, somewhat surprised. "Yes?" he asked, eyes focusing on the blond. Roxas' expression didn't change.

"I don't recall saying anything," he replied.

"Why are you staring then?" He asked. Roxas shrugged.

"Just thinking." Axel smirked tiredly. Roxas raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Realizing that you want me, Roxy?" Roxas' eyes narrowed and he shoved the red-head out of the bed. The blond heard a loud thud then turned onto his other side, ignoring the red-head's groan. He found himself seriously wondering if there was something wrong with him if he was attracted to _that_.

"Jeez, what bit you in the ass?" Axel asked, rubbing his head. Roxas remained silent, even as the mattress shifted, signaling that Axel had rejoined him. "Did I hit a nerve perhaps?" Roxas turned his head intending to scoff at the red-head but ended up widening his eyes when he saw that Axel had bent toward him and that their faces were only inches apart.

Axel looked somwhat smug but then it morphed to a look that Roxas couldn't quite decipher. The blond opened his mouth, intending on questioning him about it but before he could even speak, the red-head did.

"Well, now that I'm fully awake, thanks to you, I'm going to take a shower before we go on our date," he said. "See you soon."

Roxas watched as Axel stood then exited his room. He closed his eyes, wondering what that look had been about and hoping that not asking wouldn't come back to haunt him.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Hello everyone- I apologize once again for being slow. Like I said- Kittens, also: making arrangements to move, working, etc.

On the bright side though- I got my computer back :D. So, possibly, (hopefully) I'll be writing faster.

Anyway- Love it? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks so much~


	5. Chapter 5

Rating: **M**

**Bitter**

Chapter 5

Summary: Roxas is cold, toward everyone around him suffering after a traumatic experience- and to make matters worse, a creepy red-head decides to fall in love with him. Will Roxas be able to forget the past and love him back? Or will he never let it go?

A/N: Apologies for lateness and whatnot.

Roxas stared at the table he was sitting in front of, trying desperately to convince himself that agreeing to this date wasn't a horrible idea. He was failing miserably. The main reason he'd done it after all, was, as he'd learned from past experiences, the red-head wasn't one for giving up without a fight.

So far, he and Axel had walked to a theatre, watched a movie that he'd actually liked- a comedy- and then had ended up at a restaurant. Currently, Roxas was waiting for his food while Axel was using the restroom- and gripping his cellphone rather tightly, just in case a certain blond graced him with his presence.

What was bothering the blond the more than anything else though, was that, well- the red-head was more or less as perfect as he'd assumed. And while he liked having the red-head around –for obvious reasons- he also didn't. Because he was actually enjoying their date and it was scaring him.

Roxas jumped when a hand waved in front of his face, staring straight at Axel. He hadn't even realized that the red-head had rejoined him- he'd been thinking too much.

"Hi," he said, quietly.

"Is something wrong?" Axel asked. Roxas shrugged.

"Just thinking."

"Oh." The red-head replied before going silent for a few moments.

"Oh, hey, Rox, you still haven't told me about your uncle. Why'd he go to jail?" He asked, wondering if that's what was on the blond's mind. Roxas cringed.

"Well uhm." The blond said, glancing away, "I don't feel like going into detail, so: He was a Pedophile. I was the victim. He got caught. That about covers it." He looked at the red-head when he gripped his hand. He looked shocked.

"Seriously?" Roxas nodded. "Holy shit…" he said, looking down as if searching for the right thing to say.

"Do me a favor?" Roxas asked.

"Sure."

"Don't bring it up," Roxas said. Axel nodded. "And, uh… thanks again for saving me..."

"It was nothing, really."

"Still… if you hadn't…"

"You're welcome," the red-head replied before the two fell into another awkward silence. They didn't speak again until their food arrived.

"Why do you live with your brother?" Axel asked, hoping to break the silence.

"My mom hates me and my dad left us."

"Oh," the red-head said, deciding to change the topic. "Uhm, do you have any hobbies? What are your interests?" Roxas shrugged.

"I like the beach, drawing, music-"

"What kind of music?"

"Techno's my favorite genre," the blond replied, poking at his food.

"Me too- my Zune's full of it. I listen to it as I jog." Roxas looked up.

"You have a Zune?"

"Yeah," the red-head said. Roxas blinked.

"So do I." The red-head smiled.

"Guess we have something in common." Roxas returned the smile before taking a bite of food.

"What's your favorite kind of ice-cream?" Axel asked.

"Sea-salt. Yours?" Axel blinked.

"Soft serve or bar?"

"Bar."

"Me too, I swear." Roxas stared at the red-head for a long moment then asked the first question that popped into his mind.

"Cat person or dog person?"

"Cat."

The blond stared again.

"Favorite color?"

"Black."

"…"

"Favorite candy?"

"Skittles…"

"…One of each flavor at once…?"

"That's crazy," Roxas said nodding. "Are you a night person or a morning person?"

"Night- which's why I jog at night."

"I am too. I love the moon."

"I love the stars."

Roxas smiled again then glanced down at his food. "I'm not really hungry."

"Me either- Do you mind if I walk you home?" Roxas furrowed his eyebrows.

"I'd prefer that- since there's a psychopath after me." Axel closed his eyes, wanting to kick himself for nearly forgetting again.

"Alright, let me pay and get a to-go container."

"You don't have to-"Roxas started, stopping when Axel gripped his hand.

"I want to," the red-head replied.

Moments later, Roxas found himself fidgeting with the hem of his shirt before going through the restaurant's door as the red-head held it for him. He'd never expected Axel to be so… polite… or to have so much in common with him.

The blond began walking home, Axel by his side, the two talking idly as they went. He was glad it was still daylight and that they didn't have far to walk. But, he supposed he wouldn't have minded if it'd been night. He felt strangely safe when Axel was nearby.

"Well… this is it," the red-head said quietly, after walking Roxas up to the front door. Roxas nodded. "Thanks for letting me take you out."

Roxas looked up, his sapphire locking with Axel's emerald. He gasped softly when hands gripped his waist and pulled him closer.

"Will you allow me a second date some time?" he asked softly.

Roxas stared at the red-head, eyes widened, heart pounding. The red-head really wanted to go out again? "W-why would you want to go on a second date? I'm not that great… I'm not…" he started, breath hitching when a hand cupped his cheek. Axel bent down, pressing their foreheads together, making Roxas blush.

"I think you are," the red-head whispered, emerald locking with cerulean. "Will you?" he asked softly. "Please?"

The blond glanced away. "M-maybe…" His eyes locked with Axel's again, widening when the red-head's thumb slowly ran along his lower lip. Axel shook his head.

"No."

"No?" Roxas asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yes or no. No maybes," Axel said, looking at the blond expectantly. Roxas closed his eyes, thinking for a long time. This date hadn't been so bad… so… why not? He found himself reasoning.

"Alright… sometime." The red-head smiled widely and pressed his lips to the blond's enthusiastically.

Roxas' heart immediately began to pound and he stood there frozen. His eyes opened wide when something warm and wet slowly ran across his lips, as if asking for permission to enter his mouth. Very hesitantly, Roxas relaxed his jaw.

Axel didn't waste any time and slowly parted the blond's lips with his tongue before running it along Roxas' teeth. The blond shook slightly, just before Axel tilted his head for a better angle and slipped his tongue inside the smaller boy's mouth.

Roxas' eyes slid shut as the red-head's tongue met his for the first time, slowly brushing against it. He began to get lost as the red-head deepened the kiss, his mind beginning to wander, wondering: _is this was what love feels like?_ His eyes shot open at the thought and he hastily pushed the red-head away.

Roxas backed away, covering his mouth with one hand, making Axel look increasingly confused. "…Roxas?"

The blond closed his eyes, shaking his head. "N-n-I can't… I'm sorry…" he whispered, quickly unlocking the front door, opening it, and running inside, slamming it shut and locking it behind him.

_"Roxas!"_ Axel called on the other side of the door. The blond pressed his back against the wall, slumping down to the floor. _"Roxas… did I go too fast…? It's okay… Please let me in…"_

Roxas closed his eyes, shaking his head, a mix of memories and emotions flooding his mind. "No… no, it's not okay… it won't ever be," he whispered, gripping either side of his head and beginning to cry.

_Cloud paced anxiously, waiting for the lab results to come back. He paused when the small blond sitting next to him gripped his hand and smiled up at him nervously._

"_Sorry, honey, I'm just worried," the older male whispered._

"_It's okay, Cloud," Roxas said softly. "I understand." He watched silently as his brother pulled away and resumed pacing. _

_After what felt like an eternity the door finally opened. The doctor had a solemn look on his face and approached Cloud slowly._

"_Cloud… I'd like to speak to you first, if that's alright with you, Roxas." Cloud nodded slowly, heart pounding. He didn't like this already._

"_I'll be right back, okay sweetie?" Cloud asked. Roxas smiled anxiously._

"_O-okay," he said, watching his brother go into the hall. The door shut softly behind the two as they exited, but even though it had, Roxas could still hear what they were saying when they began speaking- quite clearly._

"_What's wrong with Roxas?" Cloud asked carefully._

"…_He's… He's now HIV positive- a result of the rape."_

"_N-no… it can't…"_

"_We triple checked the results... I'm sorry."_

"_What if sorry isn't good enough?" Cloud yelled. "It's not fair! He's only eight years old and more or less has a death sentence! It's not fair…"_

_There was a long silence. Roxas was sure that Cloud was crying. He'd started to after all._

"_The HIV hasn't turned to AIDS yet, so there's still time… and with medicine, we can prolong Roxas' life…" The doctor began to explain as Roxas tuned them out. So… his nightmare wasn't really over after all, was it? _

xXx

"_Roxas… You should have a positive outlook on life. Let people inside and you'll be much happier," his therapist urged. She was a pretty woman, having short brown curly hair and beautiful blue eyes._

"_Why?" Roxas asked, coldly. He'd been through countless therapists. They all said the same things, prescribed the same medicine, and in the end, disappointed him or betrayed his trust by telling his brother what was supposed to be confidential. "Why let people in? It'll just make it harder to say goodbye."_

"_Roxas… everything has to come to an end at some point, you should look past your disease and embrace life. You should… learn to love."_

_Roxas laughed. "The only reason why I haven't put myself out of my own misery is for Cloud's sake. Do you suppose that's love?" he asked, tone mocking at the word 'love'._

"_I think it is."_

"_No… it's more out of a sense of duty, therefore not love."_

"…_Roxas-"she started, getting cut off._

"_Besides. I made a promise to myself. To never fall in 'love'."_

"_Why?"_

"_It'd hurt too much," he said, glancing behind her at the clock as he'd been doing periodically. Their session was finally up. _

"_Well, my obligations have been fulfilled. Until next time, Selphie."_

"_Roxas wait, I think we need to talk more!" The blond merely put in his headphones, turning up his music to a mind-numbing volume and exited the room._

Roxas stared off into space, listening to his music. He was sure it was blaring but he didn't really care and his eyes remained fixated on his ceiling. He hadn't been this depressed in a long time. He'd actually started to fall for Axel and he knew it. Now he was wondering how to stop it. Or if he could.

The blond's eyes shifted to his bedroom door when it opened. Roxas pulled out his headphones when Cloud stepped inside.

"Didn't you go out today?" he asked, looking surprised.

"I did," Roxas replied. Cloud crossed his arms.

"How was your date?"

"…unexpected," Roxas said, turning onto his side. He felt his heart thud painfully when he saw strands of long red hair on his pillow.

"Are you okay?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah… just tired," Roxas replied.

"Alright… And Roxas," he said. Roxas glanced at his brother. "I want you to lay low for a few weeks. You probably shouldn't have even gone out today."

"I'm perfectly fine with that," Roxas replied, closing his eyes. "But what about work?"

"I talked to Tifa about what happened. She understands fully. I also called the police and they're having a patrol car drive by frequently. I think the officer we've been assigned is named Leon."

Roxas nodded. "Alright," he whispered, putting his headphones back in and closing his eyes.

The first thing he thought of was Axel, how he felt safer around him… their date… the kiss… Could he really let the red-head go, even if he tried? Admittedly… he'd never felt like this before and he really didn't know what to do.

Roxas frowned, feeling bitterer than ever, burying himself under a blanket and hating how unfair his life was.

-TBC-

Love it? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks so much~


	6. Chapter 6

Rating: **M**

Bitter

Chapter 6

Summary: Roxas is cold, toward everyone around him suffering after a traumatic experience- and to make matters worse, a creepy red-head decides to fall in love with him. Will Roxas be able to forget the past and love him back? Or will he never let it go?

A/N: Apologies for lateness and whatnot.

--

Roxas vaguely wondered the next day if Axel had gotten home alright, mildly concerned since he was unsure of where exactly the other male lived and he'd gone out of his way to save him and take him home. He didn't even have the red-head's number, so he couldn't have any way of knowing if he was okay or not. He had to be in danger, since he was nearly certain that Luxord had gotten a good look at Axel.

Roxas stopped worrying momentarily when Cloud came into his room, a white rose in hand.

"What's that for?" The blond asked.

"You."

"Me?" Roxas asked, puzzled as Cloud handed it to him. Cloud nodded.

"I'm guessing on who it's from, because I didn't open the card." Roxas smiled. Though Cloud was very overprotective, he'd learned to respect Roxas' privacy.

"Thank you," he whispered. Cloud nodded, exiting the room. As soon as he had, Roxas examined the flower more closely. It was beautiful.

He found the card, attached to the stem, opened it and read it. _"Roxas, I'm sorry. Please meet me outside tomorrow morning." –Axel._

Roxas sighed, running a hand through his hair. Guess that meant he was alright, but… "No… It was my fault for letting you kiss me… for getting in over my head, so I don't think so. I think I'll just end it now," he whispered, deciding not to see the red-head ever again. It'd be better for everyone in the long run.

--

The next day, there were two roses.

Roxas numbly accepted them from his brother, quite dumbfounded. There was no card, but Roxas knew who they had to be from. The blond couldn't believe that Axel'd given him more roses after not meeting him.

The blond sighed, shaking his head as he put them in the same vase as the first one.

--

The next day there were three. Then four, then five, then six- an additional rose for each day. When it reached the two and a half week point, and his room was full of roses, Roxas caved.

--

The blond woke up early, watching for the red-head through the living room window. At precisely 8:13 in the morning, Axel strode up to his house, ascending the stairs, eighteen more roses in hand.

Roxas opened the door, right as Axel was about to set them down.

"That's enough, Axel! You've already given me one hundred sixty-three roses!" Axel looked up, looking rather smug.

"Oh, only that many?" he asked, flashing Roxas a Cheshire grin. Roxas scoffed.

"Aren't you broke yet?"

"Wanna wait a few more months to talk to me and see?" he teased. The blond crossed his arms.

"My room's already pretty full, thanks."

"Hey," Axel said seriously.

"What?" Roxas asked, raising an eyebrow. The red-head crossed his arms.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

Roxas glanced away. "Cloud wanted me to lay low for a while-"

"You could have come outside before now. I chose mornings for a reason," the red-head interrupted. Roxas bit his lower lip. He was caught. He knew it.

"Come inside," he sighed, moving aside and letting the red-head enter his house, making sure to shut and lock the door behind him. When he turned, Axel held out the flowers.

"For you."

"I'd guessed," Roxas said, quietly, taking them.

"Don't you like them?"

"They're beautiful," Roxas whispered, hugging them closely, yet holding them delicately, as if they were some precious thing that could break at any second.

"If you liked them, why were you avoiding me?" Axel asked for a second time. Roxas bit his lower lip. He knew that he couldn't avoid the question forever.

"Why did you pick me?" But that didn't mean he wouldn't try.

"What?" Axel asked, looking taken aback.

"Why did you pick me?" Roxas repeated, attempting to throw the red-head off. "You could have anyone, so why me?" Axel blinked then smirked, pressing his forehead to Roxas' and gripping the smaller boy's waist. Roxas gasped, realizing his back was to the wall.

"Initially, you could say love at first sight. Then I fell for your personality, but now," he whispered, left hand cupping the younger boy's right cheek, "I'm enjoying learning anything and everything about you.

Now that I've answered your question, answer mine. You're not getting out of it," he whispered.

Roxas' cheeks flushed slightly. Why not try being honest…? "I'm scared."

"Why?" Axel asked, looking surprised.

"I don't want to fall in love and I think I'm starting to." Axel smiled widely.

"Why don't you want to fall in love?" he whispered.

"I promised myself… that I wouldn't," Roxas breathed, staring into those emeralds and beginning to lose his resolve. He knew this would happen if he saw the red-head.

"Would you ever… consider taking a chance with me?" Roxas closed his eyes. His heart was beating so fast… Axel was so close…

"N-no, I…" he whispered, stopping when fingers pressed against his lips. There were a few moments of silence.

"Why are you fighting your feelings?" Roxas blushed. "You don't have to be afraid. I won't ever hurt you." Roxas remained silent. "Just… think about it before shooting me down?" The blond nodded and Axel smiled before taking a step back.

"I got you a gift."

"Oh?" Roxas asked, opening his eyes and looking genuinely surprised.

"Yeah," the taller boy replied, reaching into his back pocket and pulling something out, "Hold out your hand." A bit hesitantly, Roxas did. He smiled when the item was transferred to his palm.

"Mace?"

"Yeah, just in case." Roxas smirked.

"It's not wise to give me weapons that I can use against you." Axel stared, making the blond laugh.

"That's not even funny!" Roxas' smirk softened to a smile at the red-head's incredulous look.

"Thank you." Axel calmed then nodded.

"I want you to be safe."

Roxas closed his eyes. "I want you to be safe too, that's why I don't think dating is a good idea." His eyes reopened, locking with Axel's when the red-head gripped his waist.

"That's not fair," he whispered back. "I want to be with you."

"Why?" Roxas asked. "You… You barely even know me!"

Axel laughed lightly. "And I supposed I'm doomed to get my heart broken… because… because I already love you."

Roxas stared. "But you barely know me…"

"I want to… I'd go to any length, just to see you smile. And I'm only going to get to know you if you give me a chance to." Roxas glanced to the side. What was really unfair? The red-head would fall even harder and at any given time, the blond's immune system could go to hell and he'd die.

Their eyes locked when Axel gripped Roxas' chin. "Even if you tell me to stop," he whispered, "I'm going to go right on loving you. The only difference between you saying yes and no is whether or not I'll be right by your side through all this hell that you're going through."

Roxas' eyes watered as what the red-head said sank in. Axel blinked in confusion when the blond began to cry. "Roxas? Roxas, what's wrong?" he asked, gripping the smaller boy's shoulders.

"I don't understand. W-why would you love me? I'm a fucking mess! I'm depressed, a-and I hate my life, and have a w-weirdo after me and to top it off, I-" Roxas started, crying harder, but stopping when Axel pressed him back against the wall and locked their lips together, kissing him forcefully.

Roxas squirmed and the red-head deepened the kiss. The blond's eyes slid shut once he got over the initial shock and, calming, he let the red-head kiss him, mind going blank. Axel didn't pull away until he absolutely needed to, leaving the blond panting.

"I don't care, got it memorized?" he whispered as Roxas stared at him through half lidded eyes, he before kissed him again.

The red-head took Roxas' face into his hands as he broke the kiss. "Feeling better?" he whispered. Roxas nodded slowly, cheeks flushed. "Good. Now, what can I do to take your mind off of things?" Roxas opened his mouth then closed it.

"What if I told you that you were wasting your time and that what you were doing wouldn't change how I felt?" Axel smirked.

"Then I'll just have to try harder, won't I?" he whispered. Roxas flushed and the red-head's smirk widened. "Besides, I'm not buying that."

"Why?" Roxas asked, staring into emerald.

"You haven't kicked me out or even tried to stop me," he whispered, leaning back in and licking Roxas' bottom lip slowly before kissing him again as if to prove his point.

"Besides- you're going all cute and blushy on me," he whispered. Roxas' flush deepened at that.

"Sh-shut up," he whispered back, staring at Axel's lips. It was addicting- the way the red-head kissed him. "Will you… will you kiss me again?"

Axel smirked. "Will you be my lover?" he asked softly. Roxas bit his lower lip.

"If I say yes, you're only allowed to kiss me. Understood?"

"Understood," the red-head replied. "Can I have my answer?" he asked, emerald locking with sapphire.

"Yes," Roxas whispered, heart racing.

Axel smiled before closing the space between them, kissing the blond slowly. Roxas kissed back for the first time and the red-head immediately deepened the kiss, gripping Roxas' neck.

They stopped, quickly pulling apart when Cloud entered the room and cleared his throat.

"Good morning, Axel," he said, narrowing his eyes at the red-head. "Nice to see you again." The red-head laughed nervously as their eyes locked.

"Likewise," he replied, nodding.

"Come with me," Cloud said, turning around and walking toward the kitchen. Roxas and Axel shared a nervous glance then started to follow Cloud. "Roxas, stay. You're next, honey." Roxas stopped, staring at his elder brother's back before biting his lower lip nervously.

--

"I have one thing to say to you," Cloud said, crossing his arms. Ocean blue bore into emerald green and the red-head swallowed nervously.

"If you hurt him, I'll hunt you down and castrate you so you'd better not be fucking with him, got it?" The red-head nodded slowly.

"Hurting Roxas is the last thing on my mind," he replied. "I want to help him get through what he's going through and once that bastard you call 'uncle' is captured and has gotten what he deserves, I want to help him realize how wonderful he is." The blond closed his eyes.

"Am I right to assume that you're dating?" Cloud asked. The red-head nodded. The blond sighed. "Okay… I'll allow it, only because you _seem_ sincere and it's also his choice. His happiness is my top priority." Axel nodded slowly. "I have to go to work soon so you're free to go for now. Send Roxas in."

--

Roxas stepped into the kitchen, approaching his brother slowly. He was surprised when Cloud smiled.

"How many roses did he get you just to get your attention?" Roxas flushed.

"One hundred, sixty-three," he said, smiling softly. "Plus eighteen."

"Why were you avoiding him? Did he hurt you?" Roxas shook his head.

"I was afraid of how I was feeling… I don't want to fall in love… and I'm so scared of what he'll do when he finds out about-"

"Honey… He's a good person and is serious about you. I'm sure it'll be okay," Cloud interrupted. Roxas nodded slowly, not fully convinced. "Look… I have to go to work," Cloud said, going to the smaller blond and hugging him. "I want you to be careful. Don't let him take advantage of you, got it?" Roxas nodded. He hadn't been planning on it. "And I still want you to stay inside, just in case, alright?" Roxas nodded again.

"Okay," he replied, hugging his brother.

"I love you honey," Cloud said.

"I love you too," Roxas whispered.

--

Roxas and Cloud walked to the front door, the older blond unlocking it before turning and looking at the other two.

"I want you to behave," he said, looking at Roxas and then Axel, eyes lingering on the red-head.

"We will," Roxas said. Cloud nodded before going outside, locking the door behind him.

Axel went up behind Roxas, resting his chin atop his head. "I don't think he likes me," he said softly. Roxas smiled.

"You might be surprised," he whispered back. Axel closed his eyes.

"Where'd you put all of the roses? You didn't throw them away, did you?" Roxas shook his head.

"No, they really are in my room," he replied, pulling away and picking up the newest bundle. "Come with me," he said, glancing back at the red-head. Axel followed without question.

They went to Roxas' room. Axel smiled. There were white roses almost everywhere. He watched as Roxas dispersed the newest eighteen amongst the existing bouquets.

"I'm happy to see that you kept them." Roxas glanced at Axel.

"Yeah, they're beautiful," he said, smiling widely. Axel smirked.

"So are you," he said softly, sitting on the blond's bed. Roxas blushed.

"Th-thank you, but no I'm n-not…" he stuttered.

"Of course you are," the red-head whispered, smiling then patting the spot next to him. Roxas sat after a moment of hesitation.

"So… uhm…" Roxas said, suddenly nervous.

"How about listening to some music?" Axel asked, digging in his pockets and pulling out his Zune.

"Okay…" Roxas replied before yawning involuntarily. Axel smiled.

"I'm not boring you, am I?" Roxas' eyes widened and he shook his head as he stared at the red-head.

"I'm just sleepy… I woke up early because I wasn't sure of what time you'd been coming." Axel nodded slowly.

"Do you want to lie down and listen to music then?" Roxas nodded, crawling onto his bed before lying down, resting his head against the pillows. He halfway smiled when Axel joined him. He accepted one of Axel's headphones, putting the ear bud in his ear as he red-head searched for a song. Roxas closed his eyes as it began to play.

The song was beautiful and melodic, almost like a lullaby, featuring the piano. "What is this?" the blond asked softly. Axel smiled, seeing how the blond was enjoying it.

"River Flows in You, by Yiruma." Roxas opened his eyes, staring into vivid green.

"I didn't think you'd like this kind of music."

"I'm sure a lot of things about me would surprise you."

"Oh?" Roxas asked, unconvinced. He was sure the red-head loved parties, drinking, and having sex. "Tell me something surprising."

"I've been playing the piano since I was four years old," the red-head whispered. Roxas' eyes widened slightly. Axel smiled as the song came to an end.

"I have an entire playlist on here if you want to hear more." The blond closed his eyes, nodding, wanting to listen to more beautiful music.

"Can you play these songs?" he whispered.

"Of course," the red-head whispered back. Roxas didn't protest when a hand gripped his waist and pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around the red-head.

"I want to go to music school someday," the red-head whispered. "Being a pianist is my dream." Roxas smiled softly.

"Can I hear you play sometime?" Axel returned the smile.

"Any time you'd like." Roxas smiled sadly. Axel really was a good person… He deserved someone better than him… "What's the matter?" the red-head asked. Roxas' eyes opened wide.

"Why do you think something's wrong?"

"Don't lie to me, Rox," the red-head whispered. The blond glanced away.

"Are you sure you want _me?_ You could do so much better." Axel frowned.

"Stop that," the red-head replied.

"But it's true," Roxas whispered. Axel shook his head.

"You're amazing, Roxas," he whispered, "You're so strong… you know how to stand tall on your own two feet, you've got a fire inside that no one can put out, and you're absolutely stunning."

Sapphire locked with emerald and Roxas opened his mouth then closed it, face flushing and unsure of what to say. Axel smiled, making the blond's heart pound.

"I've never been surer in my entire existence," the red-head whispered.

--

-TBC-

A/N: There it was. Love it? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

Rating: **M**

**Bitter**

Chapter 7

--

Axel visited every day for the next two weeks, trying, or as Cloud would say, pestering, every day, before finally convincing the older blond to let him take Roxas outside. The more Cloud had said no, the harder Axel had tried.

--

Roxas smiled happily as he got ready- Axel was currently waiting for him in the living room. He was happy because he'd been so sick of being confined to his house. Axel's visiting, at least, had made it a little better.

The blond checked himself over in the mirror attached to his dresser, finally satisfied with how he looked. He'd decided to wear something simple- blue jeans and a black sweatshirt. Axel had told him to wear something similar, only saying 'it's a surprise' when he asked why. Roxas had frowned and said he didn't like surprises.

He smiled, staring at his reflection a moment longer before gripping his keys, smiling when his fingers ran across the mace. The action made him feel safe as he slipped them into his back pocket. He closed his eyes briefly. If it was Axel surprising him… he'd decided he'd trust him.

Roxas slipped away from the mirror, heading for his bedroom door. After opening it, he made his way to the living room, surprised that Cloud wasn't with Axel.

"You look lovely," he said. Roxas blinked, looking himself over. A better word was 'plain'.

"Since when?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Axel smirked, approaching the blond. He drew Roxas into his arms.

"Since always," he whispered in his ear. Roxas' face flushed and his eyes widened. He was saved from saying anything in response, and very grateful too, when Cloud entered the room.

"I can't leave you alone for one minute can I?" He asked, directing the question at Axel. The red-head smiled sheepishly, slipping away from the flustered blond.

"I was behaving," he insisted. Cloud didn't look like he was buying it. Axel looked back at Roxas, smirking. "Ready to go, Rox?"

The blond took a deep breath, nodding. "Bye Cloud," he said, waving to his brother, "And good luck tonight!"

Cloud smiled. He'd been planning on proposing to Tifa tonight. "Thanks honey," he said. He'd told Roxas all about it, making sure, foremost, that the blond was okay with it. Roxas was overjoyed.

--

Axel took Roxas outside, leading him a block or two away. He paused at a motorcycle, and suddenly Roxas' outfit clicked. Axel had probably parked so far away because he'd known that Cloud wouldn't approve.

"No way!" Roxas said excitedly. The red-head smiled at the blond's reaction before getting on.

"Yes way," he replied. "Up for seeing where I live?" He asked, getting on and handing the blond a helmet.

"Yes!" he said, hugging the red-head tightly before putting it on. Axel's smile widened.

"Hold on tight, honey," Roxas gripped him just before they took off.

--

The blond smiled widely when Axel increased the speed, heart pounding. It almost felt as if they were flying and he absolutely loved it. He found himself enjoying it so much that he was disappointed when they reached Axel's house.

Axel smiled at the blond's look of wonder as they dismounted. The red-head's house was huge. Roxas blinked. The other boy seemed to be constantly surprising him.

"My parents own the flower shop here in town," he said. Roxas flushed, remembering the roses. "People come from all around just to buy our flowers."

"Is that where you got the roses?" Roxas asked. He'd heard that the owners of the flower shop were wealthy. He blinked when Axel shook his head.

"No, I got those from the garden," he said, taking Roxas' hand and opening the gate that surrounded his house, making sure to close and lock it behind him. The blond allowed Axel to lead him around the house to the back yard. They passed through a trellis and into a breathtaking garden. Axel smiled at Roxas' look of awe.

"My mother and I both love gardening, so this' how we bond," he replied. Roxas nodded in understanding.

"Do you want to look around?"

"Please," Roxas said. Axel smiled, giving the blond a grand tour. The garden seemed to have everything- ranging from herbs, to exotic flowers, which were in a greenhouse.

Once Roxas was satisfied, Axel took him inside, looking at the blond questioningly when he stopped. "You're so…" Roxas said, "Unexpected." Axel smiled.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Roxas laughed. "Well, it's not a bad thing," he whispered. Axel's smile widened.

"Good to hear," he replied.

"Axel..?" Roxas asked, catching a glimpse of what he was certain had been a grand piano as they walked further into the house.

"Yes?"

"Will you play?" the blond asked. Axel followed Roxas' gaze, eyes resting on the instrument.

"Of course," the red-head replied. "But we have more than one piano. Mine's this way," he said, leading Roxas to another room. Roxas paused, looking around. They were in a circular shaped room with a large window and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Everything was white, including the floor and the piano, save for the black keys.

"Why is everything white?" Roxas asked as they stepped inside.

"My sister…" Axel began, "Was blind."

"Was?" Axel smiled sadly.

"Her name was Naminé. She developed ovarian cancer years ago and passed away."

"I'm sorry," the blond whispered. Axel shook his head before continuing.

"Every time I'd play for her, she'd say that this' how she'd imagined the room to look and that she loved feeling the way I poured my soul into the music… So when she died, I changed the room to look like this."

"What was her favorite song?" Roxas asked. Axel closed the door then went up to the piano, sighing softly as he sat on the bench.

"Sunny Rain," he whispered. "Would you like to hear it?" The blond nodded and then closed his eyes as Axel started to play softly.

The title really did do the song justice. He could almost imagine a thunderstorm as the sun shined. It was one of his favorite phenomenon. He listened for moments longer than opened his eyes as the song got more intricate and beautiful.

Axel really did look like he poured his soul into the songs he played. The way he was bent over, giving it everything he had, was beautiful.

But the thing that impressed Roxas the most was the way he could get the dynamics perfect and play flawlessly without sheet music. The song wasn't terribly long, being just over four and a half minutes, but Roxas thought it was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever heard.

He watched the red-head up until the last cord, seeing him straighten himself before those beautiful emeralds fluttered open again. "Sorry," he said, smiling apologetically, glancing back at Roxas.

"For?" Roxas asked, approaching the red-head.

"I seem to have gotten rusty," Axel replied, glancing out the window.

"_That_ was rusty?" Roxas asked, staring in disbelief. Axel glanced at the blond when he sat next to him. "You were wonderful," Roxas said, gripping the red-head's hand. Axel smiled down at the blond.

"Would you like to hear some more?" Roxas nodded and the red-head's smile widened. "Okay. You can sit there, if you'd like."

"Okay."

--

Roxas found himself listening to Axel play for hours. It was beautiful- both how and what he played. The blond was amazed by how many songs the red-head could play from memory and knew that the red-head would excel in his field of choice.

Roxas' favorite songs that Axel played for him were; Sunny Rain, Clair de Lune, Friendship, River Flows in You, and Unforgettable.

He was shocked, to say the least, when the red-head asked if he'd like to learn how to play a song.

"Are you sure I'd be able to?" The red-head nodded. "I don't know… what if I mess up?"

"Then I'll show you where you went wrong and help you improve," Axel whispered. "Come here," he said, standing and patting the spot where he had been. Roxas hesitantly complied. "Let's try River Flows in You. That one's relatively simple."

"Are you sure?" Roxas asked, lacking confidence in himself. Axel laughed.

"Very. You can do this. Think of the song as really being in patterns," he said, showing him the different ways the left and then right hand was played, "and hold the pedal down," he said, gesturing to what he was referring to, "to hold out the notes longer and make them blend together."

Roxas was surprised when he slowly began to play the song, repeating section after section as Axel played it first and after a good two hours, the blond, who had never touched a piano before, could play the roughly three minute long song. It was crude and lacking in dynamics but he could play it.

"I did it!" He said excitedly, smiling up at the red-head widely. Axel returned the smile.

"Good job," he whispered.

"Thank you," Roxas said, "For being patient and believing in me." Axel sat next to him.

"It was nothing." The blond hugged the red-head tightly and Axel laughed, returning the hug before sighing. "I should probably get you back. I promised your brother I'd have you back before dark."

"Axel?" Roxas asked.

"Rox-?" he started to ask, getting cut off when the blond's lips pressed to his. He was surprised by the action, but after a moment, closed his eyes and returned the smaller boy's kiss, kissing the blond slowly until Roxas pulled back, ending the brief kiss.

"Thank you for today. I had a lot of fun." Axel smiled.

"Any time."

--

Roxas and Axel decided to end their day by going to the mall. Even though Cloud had wanted him home and most of the stores were closed Roxas had wanted to see Tifa while she was at work. He had for weeks. He'd missed her terribly, so he was sure Cloud would understand.

The two dismounted for a second time and Roxas began to tell the red-head all about the raven-hair. "She's always been there for me," He said as they approached the entrance, "I'm really happy because Cloud plans on proposing to her tonight," stopping when he saw that there was police caution tape and patrol cars nearby. He and Axel took in the scene, shocked.

"Wh-what is this?" He asked one of the officers.

"We're sorry but you can't go into the mall- a murder was just reported half an hour ago," a policeman informed them.

"What? What happened?! Wh-who," Roxas asked, panicking. Axel gripped his hand. "Who was it?!" The officer closed his eyes.

"We're not supposed to disclose that information… I'm sorry."

"Roxas?" The blond heard. "It's okay, we needed to speak with him anyway." The voice was familiar and Roxas opened his eyes. It was Leon.

"Leon, please tell me!" He said running up to the brunette. He didn't know what he'd do if it'd been Tifa.

"It seems to be related to you, so you should know. The similarities are uncanny from what you wrote in your police report." Roxas' heart began to pound just before Leon closed his eyes. "The victim was Tifa Na-" He started, getting cut of when Roxas screamed. Axel hugged the blond tightly as he began to cry, saying soothing things into his honey hair.

Leon gripped Roxas' shoulder when he'd finally calmed. "There's more… if you're up to seeing it." Roxas nodded, turning and seeing for the first time that Leon was holding a folder. "Are you sure?"

"Just show me," the blond whispered, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. Leon opened the folder, flipping through some pages before showing Roxas one in particular. It looked like there was message, in what Roxas assumed was Tifa's blood, written across the glass doors where Roxas worked.

"_Come play, sweetie, or someone else you love dies tomorrow."_

Roxas fell to his knees, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the pavement.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Hope that answers your question, DearlyBeloved-13.

Thoughts?


	8. Chapter 8

Rating: **M**

A/N: Dear God, it's been such a while since I've updated… anything (a month almost!)- which I apologize for. I got a bit lazy/ read a story for the first time in what feels like… forever, got inspired for a new story, which I've been writing, after Thanksgiving, they keep over-scheduling me for work and finals are coming up. Oh and I've been sick too. Repeatedly x-x. So don't be expecting fast(er) updates… until Christmas break at least.

**Bitter**

Chapter 8

--

Axel gripped the small blond, holding him in his arms, once he'd stopped retching. Roxas clung to Axel.

"Please," Roxas whispered weakly, "Don't leave my side. _Please_. I don't want you to be next," he said, beginning to cry. "I need to know that you're safe."

"I don't think I should leave the motorcycle here…" the red-head whispered. Roxas gripped him more tightly.

"Luxord is _sick_, Axel, he'll _kill_ you if given the chance, especially if he finds out what you mean to me!" The blond whispered. "Leon can bring you back here later." The brunette nodded reassuringly.

"I can even have my partner, Reno drive it to Roxas' house. How's that?" Axel nodded.

"Yeah, do that," he said, entrusting Leon with the key, "as soon as possible. I don't want anyone messing with it." Leon left the two momentarily to make arrangements to have the motorcycle moved as soon as possible. "Okay, don't worry Rox, I'll stay with you," the red-head whispered once they were alone, helping Roxas stand. "Let's get you home." Roxas nodded weakly just before Leon returned.

"We'll need to question you, Roxas, as well as talk further about what you want to do and who needs to be protected," Leon said softly.

"Can't you do that tomorrow or something? I think he's been through enough tonight."

"It's alright, Axel," the blond said softly, "He's just doing his job. Leon, why don't you take us to my house and I'll answer your questions there?" Leon nodded just before Roxas let Axel lead him to a patrol car. They got inside and Roxas rested against the red-head's arm.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Why?" Axel asked. Their eyes locked for a long moment before Roxas glanced away.

"For everything. You're in danger because of me. T-Tifa's dead b-because of me," he whispered, before breaking down again. Axel pulled him closer. _"How am I going to tell Cloud?"_

"It's _not_ your fault," the red-head whispered.

"Yes it is," the blond insisted, "If I'd never existed…"

"Then Luxord would've just ruined someone else's life. It's not your fault, Roxas, it's his. And I put _myself_ at risk because _I_ wanted to be by your side. So don't ever think it's your fault." Roxas sobbed just before the car door opened and Leon got into the front.

"Ready?" The brunette asked, seeing the two in the back nod, just before he took off, Reno following behind.

--

Leon and Reno escorted the distraught blond and the red-head to the front door, making sure no one was lingering in the shadows before giving Axel back his keys. Roxas fumbled around, searching for his keys, realizing that they were still in his back pocket, but before he could get them, Axel rested a hand on his shoulder then knocked the door as Leon and Reno decided that Reno would keep watch in the patrol car, just in case.

It wasn't long before it swung open. Cloud looked very upset. "I told you to have him back before dark! What's the matter with you, Axel?! There's a sicko on the loose!" He yelled at the red-head. Roxas began to cry again. "Honey… what's wrong?"

"It was my fault…" he whispered crying harder, "all my fault."

"Hey, stop it!" Axel said, turning him around and gripping his shoulders before looking at Cloud sadly. "I'll take Roxas inside and try to calm him down. Leon can clue you in as to what happened."

Cloud glanced at the officer who, he hadn't realized, had been staring at him the entire time. Leon couldn't help but think that the blond was… beautiful. "What happened?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows, "Why is Roxas so upset?" Leon seemed to snap out of it and approached Cloud.

"I think you need to sit down." Cloud crossed his arms and Leon noted that he was dressed up.

"I'll stand." The brunette closed his eyes, ascending the stairs, stopping in front of the blond.

"There was a brutal murder tonight," he said softly, reopening his eyes. "We're nearly certain that the perpetrator was your uncle, Luxord. And if that's the case, he wants Roxas badly-"

"Does Roxas know?" Cloud interrupted. He looked as if he were thinking, "Of course he does that's why he's so upset," he muttered, "Oh my God… I need to go to him. Thank you Leon."

"Wait, Cloud," The brunette said, gripping the other boy's arm. "There's something else."

"It can't be _that_ important," he said, shrugging Leon off, "Goodnight."

"The victim was Tifa." Cloud stopped dead in his tracks, eyes going wide. "I'm sorry. Now I need to speak with Roxas," he said, going past the blond who was shocked and had begun shaking his head in denial as he began to break down.

He was trying with all his might to forget what the officer had said.

--

"Roxas, calm down. It'll be alright," Axel whispered, holding the blond closely and rocking him gently. They'd ended up in Roxas' bedroom. "I won't let him touch you ever again."

"B-but he'll kill someone else, Axel," Roxas whispered.

"But everyone you love is right here, right?" Roxas shook his head.

"At school, I have friends-"

"There's no way he could know that, Roxas. And if he's seen in public, he's pretty screwed." Roxas bit his lower lip just before there was a knock at his door.

"Who is it?" he called, voice shaking.

"Leon," the officer called.

"Come in," Roxas said softly. His bedroom door opened and the brunette came inside, pausing at the foot of Roxas' bed.

"Roxas, I, on behalf of the police force, want to let you know that we are doing all we can to capture your uncle. He's proving to be quite elusive than previously thought, however." Roxas nodded numbly. "He even managed to get away from the scene of the murder undetected." The blond closed his eyes.

"I know that this will be hard for you to even think about at the moment, but we could have you meet with him, after hooking you up to a wire or _something_, so we know where you are and…" Leon began, stopping when Roxas began to shake. "Alright, can you tell me who he might target next?"

Roxas opened his eyes. "My three best friends, Hayner, Pence, and Olette and then Cloud and Axel are the only people that mean anything to me."

Leon nodded, taking note of them and where Roxas went to school, Oblivion High. "Alright. Roxas, I want you to think about what I said more, but foremost, stay inside, use extra caution and be safe. The same goes for you, Axel, and I'll tell Cloud that too." Roxas nodded.

"Thanks, Leon." The brunette nodded before slipping out of the blond's room.

--

Leon came across Cloud. He was sitting in the living room, horribly pale and looking like he was in shock and had been crying.

"…Cloud?" Leon asked, gently touching the other male's shoulder. Shining cerulean looked up at the officer.

"How did she die?" he asked softly. Leon sat next to him, refusing to look at the blond.

"He mutilated her. We think it was because she refused to tell him anything." Cloud's eyes closed.

"How did Roxas find out?"

"He and Axel stopped by the mall, shortly after the murder occurred. I took him aside and told him what happened, since he was related to the incident and begging to know." Cloud nodded slowly. "And there's something else: you shouldn't venture outdoors. Luxord left Roxas a message."

Shades of blue locked. "What did the sick fuck say?" Cloud asked, eyes hardening.

"..Come play sweetie or someone else you love dies tomorrow," Leon whispered. "He wrote it in Tifa's blood, across the doors to the store where he works." Cloud gripped his stomach, arms crisscrossing, staring straight ahead.

"I really hope Roxas doesn't spiral downward again because of this," he whispered, closing his eyes. Leon smiled slightly.

"Axel seems to be keeping him calm," he said softly. Cloud nodded slowly.

"I can't miss work…" he said after a moment.

"I'd be more than happy to take you, and stay nearby," Leon offered. "Your safety, especially since you're Roxas' guardian, is a priority."

"But who will watch the house if you're not here?"

"My partner, Reno can," Leon offered, "We've been watching the house in shifts." Cloud nodded slowly, biting his lower lip.

"Alright."

"I'll make sure to drive by more often tonight, just in case," Leon said softly, "and, Cloud… I'm sorry for your loss," he whispered. Tears cascaded down the blond's cheeks.

"Me too," Cloud whispered, crying harder. He gasped in surprise when Leon hugged him tightly.

"It'll be okay," the brunette said softly, "We'll find him and make him pay." Cloud returned the embrace, crying into the other male's chest.

--

"How are you doing?" Axel asked softly.

"Not so great," Roxas whispered. He'd been resting against the older boy's chest, lying on top of him.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Axel whispered. Roxas closed his eyes, shrugging.

"Being with me," he said, opening his eyes and looking up at the red-head, "Is about all you _can_ do." The older boy nodded slowly, wrapping his arms around the other boy.

"Alright," he whispered. Roxas smiled up at the red-head.

"Thanks though," he whispered, smile widening. Axel returned the smile.

"Of course," He said. "I want to do whatever I can to make this easier for you."

--

Roxas lay in Axel's arms until he was certain that the red-head had fallen asleep. Then, he sat up, slipping away as carefully as possible. He needed to find Cloud.

He happened upon him in the living room, surprised to see that Leon was still there. "…Cloud?" Roxas whispered. Said blond looked up, eyes dulled. Roxas winced.

"What is it honey?"

"I… I need to ask you something," Roxas said quietly, "Privately." Cloud nodded.

"Let's talk in the kitchen," he replied. Soon both blonds were heading for that room. Cloud paused, leaning against the counter once inside the kitchen. "What is it?"

Roxas looked downward, biting his lower lip. "Do you hate m-me?" he whispered, falling into hysterics once again. He closed his eyes as Cloud approached him but gasped in surprise when arms wrapped around him.

"Never. What in the world put that notion into your head?" he halfway demanded.

"Tifa's g-gone," Roxas sobbed, "and it's all my fault," crying harder.

"Roxas it's not your fault and it will _never_ be your fault," Cloud said soothingly.

"But-" Roxas started, getting interrupted by Cloud.

"Don't you dare disagree. It was _Luxord_ who chose to do the things he's done," he said, letting the younger boy cry into his chest for a long time. Once he'd finally calmed, Cloud took Roxas' face into his hands. "Honey, you mean more to me than you'll ever know. There's nothing you could ever do to change that." Roxas hugged his brother.

"Promise me that you'll be careful when you go to work," The small blond whispered. "You're one of the few people I love. I need you."

"I promise," Cloud said gently. Roxas smiled, hugging the blond tightly. "Now, try to get some sleep- Axel's welcome to stay, okay?" Roxas nodded.

"I will… and thank you," he whispered.

--

Axel woke the next morning, seeing a familiar blond snuggling into his chest. He smiled at the sight, running his fingers through that honey hair.

"Roxas," he whispered. The blond snuggled closer, making the red-head laugh lightly. "Roxas," he repeated, lightly shaking the boy. The blond still didn't wake, so Axel decided to let him sleep.

He smiled down at that angelic face, running his fingers across the smaller boy's features. Really, he found it incredibly unfair that Roxas had to go through so much, vaguely wondering how many times the boy had been truly happy. Roxas stirred and the red-head's smile widened. Funny how he'd slept until the red-head had wanted him to stay asleep.

"Good morning, sleepy-head," he whispered as those amazing blue eyes greeted him. Their owner smiled, stretched and then sat up. Axel stared as the other boy crawled on top of him further before bending down.

"Good morning," Roxas whispered, leaning closer and brushing his lips against the red-head's. Axel's eyes widened in surprise as the smaller boy kissed him.

"What was that for?" he asked, now fully awake. Roxas smiled widely.

"For being wonderful," he whispered. Axel returned the smile.

"I'm glad to see that you're doing better," he whispered back. Roxas nodded.

"After you fell asleep, I talked to Cloud." The red-head nodded slowly.

"Did he convince you that it wasn't your fault?" he asked quietly. Roxas smiled sadly.

"He helped." The blond's smile widened when the red-head touched his face and he couldn't help but keen into the comforting touch as his eyes slid shut.

"I don't know what to do," the blond whispered. "I'm so scared that Cloud will be next… he _has_ to go to work." Roxas glanced up at the red-head when warm arms embraced him.

"Hey, it'll be alright. I'm sure he's arranged something with the police." Roxas nodded.

"Yeah, he has."

"Good, so just relax." Roxas nodded again, uncertainly.

"Okay."

--

Axel spent the day with Roxas, watching movies, listening to music, doing anything, really, that he could to take the blond's mind off of things.

The day progressed quickly and, as it came to an end, Roxas was nodding off as he sat next to Axel on the couch. The red-head smiled softly as those blue oceans finally closed and he laid the blond down when he was certain he'd fallen asleep. He pressed his lips to Roxas' forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Rox," he whispered before gasping softly as his phone began to vibrate in his back pocket. The red-head dug into his pockets, finally finding it and answering. A quick glance at his cell phone and he'd seen that it was his house. "Hello?" he asked.

"Axel, I presume," a calm cool voice replied. The red-head's eyes widened as he recognized the voice.

"How the hell did you get into my house?! How did you even find it?!" The red-head demanded in a hushed tone, not wanting to wake Roxas.

"I've followed you home on quite a few occasions," the blond on the other end of the line replied, sounding rather bored. Axel closed his eyes. He'd thought he'd been careful. "That and I'd recognized you from an advertisement- quite famous your family is." The red-head felt himself go cold. Was his family in danger…?

"What do you want? How did you get my cell phone number?"

"Your mother's quite resourceful when she has a knife to her throat. Be a good boy and hurry home if you don't want her to die," the blond replied just before the line went dead. Axel cursed under his breath then stared at the sleeping blond for a long moment, running a hand through those honey colored locks.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to the sleeping boy, bending down and kissing him briefly. "I'll come back to you, I promise," and then he was gone, taking his motorcycle and racing toward his house.

Little did he know- by doing so, Luxord had already gotten what he wanted.

--

Roxas woke, stretching as he did. The sun was just beginning to set.

Once those bleary blue eyes had focused, he glanced around. "Axel?" he called, not seeing the red-head anywhere and beginning to search the house. "Axelll." He was just about to go upstairs when the house phone began to ring. He blinked in surprise when he saw that it was the police station on the caller ID.

"H-hello?" he asked, wondering if the police wanted to question him some more. He was more than surprised to hear Leon's voice.

"Roxas?" the voice asked.

"Leon? Aren't you supposed to be with Cloud?"

"He's with me, Roxas. I got called in to the station and when he found out what happened he came with me willingly."

"Why?" he asked, panicking. Axel wasn't with him. "What happened?"

"Roxas, I need you to stay inside and make sure the doors are locked. Reno's still there but I need you to do that for me-"

"What the hell happened!?" Roxas interrupted. There was a long pause as the person on the other line changed.

"Honey," a calm voice came. It was his brother, Cloud.

"C-Cloud? W-what happened?" Roxas asked, "I'm sc-cared, I can't find Axel, I don't know what to do… I'm so scared…" There was a long pause.

"Honey… Axel was in an accident. He got life-lighted." Roxas screamed, before falling to his knees as he began to cry. "Honey please, I know it's hard," Cloud said gently, "But I need you to make sure that the doors are locked, that you're safe. Axel's mother said that Luxord attacked her to get to Axel and left as soon as he finished calling him. The police are certain that he tampered with his motorcycle and knows which neighborhood we live in."

Slowly Roxas raised himself, doing as he was told. "They're locked," he whispered into the phone numbly, tears still streaming down his cheeks, before going into the bathroom and locking himself inside, turning off the light and sitting in the linen closet, closing the door behind him. It had always been his favorite hiding place.

The blond cried harder. "Please…" he whispered, "Hurry home."

--

-TBC-

A/N: Please refrain from killing me…

Love it? Hate it? Let me know? I'll try to update faster if you do~


	9. Chapter 9

Rating: **M**

A/N: I was trying to be faster for you and not take another month x-x;

I do hope you enjoy the update :]

**Bitter**

Chapter 9

Roxas stared at Axel.

The red-head was heavily bandaged and had been unconscious, death-like even, ever since his accident. Luxord, it seemed, had tampered with Axel's breaks, causing the red-head to crash on his way home.

The blond squeezed his lover's hand tightly. The doctors didn't know if or when he'd wake up or if he'd ever be able to move again. Roxas thought it was horribly unfair, being that if that were the case, the red-head would never play the piano again.

Now the blond was just staring at the red-head as he had been for quite a while. He'd felt something inside break when he saw Axel for the first time after his accident. Slowly after, he'd become numb and then quite angry, bitter even.

Roxas stood, gently touching the side of Axel's face. "I'm done hiding," he whispered softly. "And I'm going to fight back and be strong," he said. "For you," kissing the red-head's cheek before slipping away.

xXx

Roxas scanned the hospital cafeteria, stopping when he saw who he was looking for, an eyebrow raising as he did. Leon seemed to be quite fond of Cloud.

The blond walked up to the two and his brother looked quite surprised to see him. "Roxas?" he questioned. Roxas hadn't left Axel's side for days. The blond smiled at his brother, shocking him further.

"I need to speak with Leon, Cloud, can you check on Axel for me?" Cloud regarded him suspiciously.

"Why do you need me to be gone?" Roxas sat between the two, leaning back in his chair.

"Because you're not going to like what I'm going to say," the blond replied.

"Roxas, don't even think about giving in to that bastard's demands!" Cloud whispered harshly. Roxas regarded his brother cooly.

"Why?" he asked simply.

"Because he'll rape you and kill you!" Cloud shot back, trying very hard not to yell in the middle of the cafeteria. Roxas shrugged.

"It's not like I'm not going to die soon anyway," he said calmly.

"I can't believe you're saying that-"

"It's true," Roxas interrupted, staring at his brother as if daring him to argue. "You yourself said that I'd gotten a death sentence when I was eight."

Cloud gripped either side of his head, resting his elbows on the table and hunching over. "Please don't do this to me, Roxas, I just lost Tifa, I can't lose you too… at least… not yet, not when I know that there's still time I could have spent with you." Roxas faltered and then gripped his brother's hand, making the blond look at him. Cloud was crying.

"Cloud I… _I'm doing this_ _for_ _you_," he whispered.

"I can't let you." Roxas smiled sadly.

"That's why I'm not giving you a choice," he whispered back. "Luxord already got Axel. I am _not_ letting you be next. And you will be." The small blond turned to Leon. "Leon, what do I have to do?" Cloud sobbed and gripped Roxas from behind, hugging him tightly.

"Roxas, please!" Roxas gripped his brother's hands, disengaging his hold and squeezing them.

"Cloud… I have to do this," he whispered, "for you, for Axel, for Tifa… and for _myself_. I don't expect you to understand, I can only hope that you'll forgive me." Cloud hugged him tightly once again, crying harder.

xXx

Roxas stood outside in the somewhat chilly evening air, exhaling slowly, marveling when he saw his breath. It was a wonder- being alive, really it was and Roxas wondered in the back of his mind if he'd miss it once he'd died. He closed his eyes, supposing he'd miss the people he'd loved more.

Luxord, apparently, had specified a different place for Roxas to be after each night, according to Leon. Tonight was the Automatic Tram Station and Roxas was waiting for the eight o'clock Tram.

The blond played with his phone as he waited, dialing a number. Anyone would've guessed that he was an average teenage boy waiting for his ride home. The tram arrived as the call connected and he slipped his phone into his pocket. He'd worn pants with zipper compartments and had zipped the pocket closed to secure his phone, which he'd made sure to put on silent beforehand. Roxas took a deep breath and then stepped onto the tram, praying to some higher power that the call wouldn't disconnect.

He felt his heart pound as the door slid shut behind him and glanced around quickly. There were several people in the car with him- three high school girls with bags from the mall, an elderly couple, a man who looked like he'd just gotten off work, and what looked like a homeless man sleeping in the corner. Roxas took a deep breath and then sat a few seats away from the high school girls. He'd only had one instruction: to ride.

The passengers each got off in turn. First the girls, and then after two stops the elderly couple and then the next stop was the middle aged man who had probably gotten off of work recently. Then it was just Roxas and the homeless man. After a few stops, Roxas began to get agitated, wondering if he'd gotten on the wrong tram. As it came to a stop, Roxas stood, making his way toward the door. The blond cried out in alarm when someone grabbed him from behind and as the doors closed, his eyes widened when he saw the homeless man's reflection.

"This isn't our stop, sweetie," he whispered in Roxas' ear, making the blond's heart pound, "You can't get off yet." Roxas swallowed, throat suddenly dry as he nodded.

"Where are we going?" Roxas asked. Luxord smirked.

"You don't get to know that."

Luxord made the knife he was carrying clearly visible, forced Roxas to sit next to him and then he took a handkerchief out of his pocket.

"Cover your eyes," he commanded. Roxas folded the handkerchief in an appropriate manner and then did as he was told. "Now would be the time to give me your cell phone."

"I don't have it with me," Roxas replied, heart pounding. Luxord gripped his chin, forcing the smaller boy's jaw open slightly from the forcefulness of his grasp.

"If I find it later, you'll pay," he whispered, breath ghosting across Roxas' quivering lips.

"I left it at home," Roxas whispered, surprised when Luxord released him, not saying anything else.

They waited until the Tram made three more stops then Luxord gripped Roxas' hand.

"Stand up," he commanded. Roxas complied, standing and allowing himself to be lead off the tram, halfway tripping. He felt himself tense as Luxord caught him, quickly righting himself and apologizing. Luxord actually chuckled in amusement and Roxas held his breath for a long moment before his uncle resumed walking.

After what felt like forever, and many stumbles later, Luxord stopped. "You can take the blindfold off, momentarily," the elder male whispered. Roxas gladly did as he was told, opening his eyes and seeing a black truck. "Get in." Roxas glanced at his uncle.

"H-how did you get a truck?"

"The same way I got your attention- by killing someone. Now stop talking and get in." Roxas did as he was told, opening the door and sitting into the passenger seat. Luxord joined him shortly after. "Put the blindfold back on and lie down." Roxas nodded, doing as he was told just before his uncle started the truck.

The small blond tried to remain calm as they drove, the radio on scan, jumping from station to station, concentrating on Axel.

He smiled, thinking about how brilliant he looked when he was happy, the wondrous way he poured his soul into his music as he played, those lips, those marvelous green eyes, that smile… Luxord reached their destination and Roxas was commanded to sit up. The honey-haired blond did as he was told.

"Can I take the blindfold off first?" he asked softly.

"No." Roxas nodded as Luxord gripped his hand again forcing him out of the truck before beginning to take him somewhere. Moments later he heard his uncle unlock and then open a door before he was lead into a room. The door closed and Roxas heard the lock click as Luxord turned the lights on. Hands gripped the smaller boy's shoulders and Roxas' heart began to pound erratically. "Now," the older male whispered in Roxas' ear.

Roxas took off the blindfold then opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted to the light. It looked like they were in a motel room, relatively cheap in price, but Roxas supposed that it was sufficient for what Luxord wanted. At least he hadn't been planning on raping him in some back ally, which he was thankful for.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Luxord's hands ran down his side before he spoke. "We will be beginning momentarily," he was informed "Curiosity's got me hesitating, so answer me something first," he said, turning the blond around and regarding Roxas for a few moments. "Why exactly did you come to me tonight of all nights?" The older blond questioned. Roxas stared up at his uncle, heart pounding.

"Because I finally got Cloud to let me." Luxord laughed coldly.

"Ah yes, Cloud. Thanks for reminding me- I'll be repaying him after this. He's the one who took you away from me." Roxas closed his eyes.

"Which I've always regretted," he replied, whispering the lie.

"What?" Roxas bit the inside of his cheek just before shades of blue locked.

"Being away from you helped me realize," he whispered, gripping Luxord's waist gently. "That I need you. And I missed you terribly." Luxord's arms wrapped around Roxas and the small blond tried his hardest to hide behind the mask he'd tried so hard to paint. A blond eyebrow rose and Roxas panicked slightly. He knew that he had to gain Luxord's trust.

"If you felt that way, why did it take you so long to come to me? Why were you with that red-head all the time? Why did you react to me the way you did last time?"

"Cloud confined me to the house, Axel was just a close friend, and your methods were a bit extreme last time. I thought you were bent on raping then killing me because I made you go to jail," Roxas halfway lied. Luxord closed his eyes, laughing lightly, making the hair on the back of the younger boy's neck rise.

"Roxas, you have to have figured out by now that I intend on having my way with you tonight," Luxord whispered, "and I'm not just going to let you walk away when I'm done."

"Does it have to be like that?" Roxas whispered.

Those icy eyes opened and shades of blue locked for a second time. "I'm afraid so."

"Why?" Roxas whispered, gripping either side of Luxord's face. The older male's eyes widened as Roxas lent in, "If it's consensual," the small blond whispered, "Then you can't get into trouble, right? So let's _play_."

Before Luxord could react, Roxas closed his eyes, heart pounding as he forced his body to move, feeling nauseous. He kept reminding himself that he was doing this for Axel.

Luxord's eyes widened as their lips brushed then locked together. It was the first time the younger boy had ever done anything of that nature and his level of suspicion was rising. But if Roxas wanted to kiss him so badly, so be it.

The older male relaxed his jaw, allowing Roxas' tongue to slip into his mouth as he kissed him for the first time. It was slow, deliberate and thorough. When he pulled away, Luxord appeared to be completely unaffected. Roxas froze, wondering what he'd done wrong.

"You're wearing a wire, aren't you?" he asked. Roxas blinked.

"What?"

"That or you're biding time," Luxord accused. Roxas shook his head.

"No, I'm not-" he started, making a small noise of surprise when the blond gripped him, getting shoved down onto the bed roughly. His eyes widened as Luxord straddled him. His mind went blank as a gun was pressed to his left temple.

"Then what the fuck is this bullshit that you're trying to pull?" Luxord asked coldly. Roxas' mind began to reel as he tried to come up with a convincing lie. _"Answer me,"_ the older blond demanded, eyes narrowing. The smaller boy began to shake when Luxord clicked off the safety.

"Is it wrong…?" Roxas asked, panicking and furrowing his eyebrows as his eyes welled up with tears, "That I wanted it to feel like you love me and that you weren't just using me all those years ago? That you aren't just using me now?" Luxord stared dumbly and, looking like he felt somewhat guilty when the smaller boy started to cry, got off.

"Alright," the blond muttered after a few moments. "Come here and take off your clothes to show me that you're not lying to me and I'll be gentle with you." Roxas closed his eyes, taking deep shaky breaths in an attempt to regain his composure. He needed to be strong.

After a few moments, Roxas finally sat up, slowly approaching the other male, shaking as he did. _"Come here,"_ Luxord repeated. Roxas shook before straddling the older male. He flinched when a hand touched his cheek. "I'm sorry for scaring you," Luxord whispered softly. Roxas nodded slowly, remembering what he had to do.

"Thank you for allowing me a moment," he whispered back, slowly beginning to unbutton his shirt, heart pounding all the while. Then, equally slowly, he unzipped his undershirt before taking them off. They fell to the floor with a dull thud.

The honey-haired blond hesitated, resting his hands on his belt before undoing the clasp. He swallowed, hands shaking as he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, exposing his boxers as they fell down slightly, blushing. He paused, staring up at Luxord when he gripped his hands.

"Alright," he whispered, pulling the smaller boy forward. "I believe you."

Roxas gasped lightly when their lips locked together for a second time. Hesitantly, he relaxed his jaw, allowing the man he hated to kiss him. Roxas gripped his uncle's shoulders, thinking of Axel and slowly kissing back. He gasped again, eyes opening wide when hands slid down his bare back, past his boxers and squeezed. Luxord deepened the kiss as he pulled the smaller boy closer, their chests colliding.

Roxas' body spasmed as a finger slowly ran across this entrance and Luxord broke the kiss, chuckling. "You're so cute and innocent and… _tight_," he whispered lowly in Roxas' ear. "Just like the first time I took you, ten years ago." Roxas, who had been breathing heavily, closed his eyes, his breath hitching. He bit his lower lip, trying to remain calm as Luxord continued to violate him but opened his eyes when that hand shifted and began to stroke him gently. Roxas gasped lightly, tensing just as the phone to their hotel room began to ring.

"Just ignore it," Luxord whispered. Roxas nodded as it stopped and Luxord lent in to kiss him again but paused, frowning when it began to ring again, muttering under his breath in frustration. "I'll be right back, sweetie," he said, gently shifting Roxas onto the bed and missing the fact that the blond had cringed at the nickname.

Luxord answered the phone by the third ring. "Hello?" he asked. His demeanor showed that he was displeased. "What are you talking about 'trouble with payment'? I paid in cash." Roxas had guessed that it was the front desk calling, feeling hopeful. Now he just had to wait to see how Luxord reacted to know how to act according to what he'd planned out with Leon- he'd called 911 before getting on the tram to triangulate his position. "No, it can wait until later. I'm in the middle of something," he said, glancing back at Roxas. "Goodbye," he said, hanging up the phone.

"Sorry about that," he said, returning to the bed and pinning Roxas down as he straddled him. Roxas panicked slightly- he needed to act quickly and he needed to be on top. "What's wrong?" Luxord asked.

"Is everything alright?" Roxas whispered, heart pounding.

"Yeah," Luxord replied, bending down and capturing the younger boy's lips. Roxas closed his eyes as Luxord deepened the kiss then worked his way down his neck, biting and sucking harshly at the pale skin.

Roxas gasped softly, trembling as Luxord began to work his way down his chest, his body beginning to heat up, breathing becoming shallow. "L-Lux-_uhh-nng_," he ended up mewling as Luxord claimed one of his nipples, licking, biting then sucking harshly. He could barely think as his body reacted, hating the man even more. His back arched as Luxord switched to the other and he moaned softly, loathing himself as he did.

Luxord pulled back, smirking down at the blond. "It's not fair," he whispered as Roxas gazed up at him confusedly, "How beautiful you are. It makes me lose control." Roxas stared up at his uncle for a long moment then laughed bitterly, supposing that that perception was what had gotten him into this entire mess.

"Beautiful? No, I'm not," he murmured, taking Luxord's face into his hands, a plan formulating. Luxord, who's eyes were already widened, looked at him questioningly.

"Tell me," Roxas whispered, "what can I do for you? After all, it's not _fair_ that you're doing everything to me and getting nothing in return." Luxord smirked, kissing the smaller boy again.

"We'll get there," he whispered back, unwisely trusting Roxas. The smaller blond gasped as his uncle rolled their hips together, making him groan. The elder male's smirk widened. "First, I want you." Roxas froze for a long moment, tensing when Luxord lent closer. The older blond frowned.

"I... I thought we were going to go slowly," Roxas whispered in response. Luxord smirked.

"I said _gentle_ not slow. I've waited years, I'm not waiting anymore." Roxas swallowed then smiled, heart pounding.

"I didn't say I was going to make you wait," he whispered back. _"That'd be horribly unfair of me." _Luxord's smirk widened as he understood what Roxas was implying.

"Alright then- Impale yourself," he whispered in Roxas' ear, rolling onto his back and propping himself up on his elbows. Roxas sat up, slowly crawling on top of the older male. The blond lent closer.

"Want to know what's _really_ unfair?" he whispered, palming Luxord's desire, making him groan as he added pressure. He didn't wait for him to reply, "A selfless brother was going to be happy, propose, get married, and finally have his own life," he said softly. "His girlfriend was brutally murdered that night." Luxord looked unfazed.

"A brilliant pianist who was going to excel, is now on life support and might be paralyzed," Roxas continued, sitting up, "and a young blond was traumatized, and then given a disease that would end his life before it'd even started," he whispered gripping his back pockets as if to pull his pants down further, reaching into one. He smiled when his fingers ran along something familiar, turning a lever.

"Why should I care? I don't. Now hurry up." The older male replied impatiently, clearly apathetic toward the people Roxas had described. Roxas lent toward him, blue oceans blazing.

"No," he replied, whispering the word.

Luxord's eyes narrowed and he looked enraged but before he could react, Roxas whipped out his mace, aiming and spraying. "You fucking bastard, it's all your fucking fault!" he yelled hitting his target, making Luxord scream. The older male thrashed, knocking the blond onto the floor with a painful thud.

"_You fucking bitch! I'm going to fucking kill you!"_He roared, fumbling around, blindly. Roxas pulled up his pants, refastening them as quickly as possible so he wouldn't trip then ran for the door, all according to plan. That is, until he instinctively dropped down to the ground and covered his head when a shot rang out. _"Where the fuck are you?"_

Roxas closed his eyes, trembling. He didn't dare move as Luxord screeched his name.

Moments later, the blond opened his eyes, staring at the door when it swung open. Hearing the noise but still blinded, Luxord shot again, shooting a lamp which shattered instantly. Roxas cringed then glanced at the door, seeing Leon who was motioning for him to hurry and get out.

Roxas crawled toward the officer, and as soon as he was close enough, Leon gripped his shoulders, pulling him out and to the side, placing his jacket around his shoulders before peering into the room, aiming and shooting Luxord in the leg as efficiently as possible. The other officers who were with the brunette immediately stormed in, subduing Luxord who had collapsed, handcuffing him and reading him his rights.

"Roxas," Leon said, gripping the blond's shoulders, "Roxas, are you alright?" Roxas shook his head beginning to cry. He cried harder as Luxord, still blinded and raging was led out of the room. Leon shielded him as the other blond passed them.

"This is far from over _sweetie_. _Far_ _from over!" _He yelled all the way down the hall. Leon hugged him tightly.

"This time," he whispered softly, "He'll be getting the death sentence for murder, attempted rape and two counts of attempted murder. It _is_ over." Roxas sobbed, hugging the officer back. "Thank you for being so brave."

"Will you take me to Axel?" Roxas half begged. Leon nodded.

"Of course."

-TBC-

A/N: Sorry if that happened too quickly for anyone. I didn't really feel like having Roxas get raped and dragging the story out further.

Anyhow. Love it? Hate it? Let me know?


	10. Chapter 10

Rating: **M**

A/N: -updating faster- makes me happy~

Enjoy!

**Bitter**

Chapter 10

**-- **

As soon as Roxas walked into the hospital he ran into his brother who hugged him, refusing to let go.

"You idiot!"He yelled. He was crying hard. Roxas nodded numbly, returning the embrace.

"Yeah… I'm an idiot. _A very lucky idiot_," he whispered, the reality of how badly things could have gone crashing down on him once again as he allowed Cloud just to hold him, each crying while being embraced by the other.

--

Weeks passed. Axel's condition didn't improve and the blond, later joined by the red-head's mother, refused to leave his side.

Roxas learned that Axel's mother's name was Aerith. She was a pretty woman, having long curly brown hair and vivid green eyes. He liked her a lot. She, likewise, liked Roxas very much and approved of him fully. She seemed to enjoy Cloud's company as well.

Roxas also learned that Axel's father, Marluxia couldn't come, no matter how badly he wanted to. He was away on a business venture and couldn't possibly get home for weeks longer.

--

One day when he was alone with Axel because Aerith and Cloud had gone to get them all lunch, Roxas gripped the red-head's hand, crying silently. "Please," he begged, "Wake up. I miss you… I… I n-need you," crying harder. _"You're all I need…"_

The red-head didn't move, breath fogging on his mask the same way, heart beating at the same pace. There wasn't any indication whatsoever that the blond had been heard. Roxas sobbed, crawling into bed with the red-head, lying next to him. He didn't care of the nurses would yell at him for it later, he needed to be beside Axel.

Aerith and Cloud returned twenty minutes later, pausing when they saw Roxas lying next to Axel. The blond had cried himself to sleep.

The two shared a knowing look then decided to let Roxas sleep.

--

Roxas opened his eyes, realizing he'd fallen asleep when he saw how dark it was outside. He raised himself, closing his eyes as he did and wishing with all his might he'd see beautiful emerald when he opened them.

The blond's heart began to pound and he, after a few agonizingly slow seconds opened his eyes. They welled up with tears when he saw Axel still laying there the way he had been for weeks.

He lay back down, resting his head against the red-head's chest, gripping his hand and beginning to cry. The blond cried harder, squeezing tighter, as his fear that the red-head would never wake up began to eat at him with renewed vigor.

He was so preoccupied that he almost missed hearing a soft groan and feeling the sensation of the red-head weakly squeezing back.

Roxas stared at his lover in disbelief. Axel was furrowing his eyebrows and then, after a moment, those magnificent green eyes fluttered open.

"R-Rox," he managed.

"A-Axel!" the blond cried out, gripping him more tightly. Axel whispered his name and their eyes locked.

"T-that hurts." Roxas blinked, before fresh tears spilled down his cheeks and he let the red-head's hand go, sitting up, taking off the oxygen mask and grasping either side of his face. Axel blinked as he cried harder.

"You… You're really awake." The red-head halfway smirked.

"Is that a bad thing?" Roxas scoffed.

"Don't be a jerk! It's been weeks! I was so scared that I'd lost you…" He closed his eyes when the red-head weakly lifted his hands before likewise gripping his face.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against Roxas' quivering lips, realizing where he was and what had happened, "Especially for leaving you. Can you forgive me?" Roxas nodded and the red-head captured those trembling lips, not pulling back until he'd felt Roxas relax. "You have enough to worry about with Luxord on the loose."

Roxas glanced away, looking at anything but the red-head. "Actually…" Axel frowned.

"What did you do?"

"I uhm… I helped the police catch him." Axel's grip tightened.

"You idiot! He could have killed you!" he yelled, emeralds blazing, "He could have- oh God," he said, "Did he rape you?" he whispered. Roxas shook his head. A long silence ensued.

"Despite what you're probably thinking, I'm not stupid," Roxas whispered. Axel closed his eyes, sighing heavily.

"Why did you do it?"

"Because he hurt you! I didn't know if you were ever going to wake up again, Axel!" Roxas yelled back, angry tears running down his cheeks. Wide emeralds locked with sapphire. "And if you did wake up, it was very likely you'd be paralyzed!" The red-head pulled Roxas close, hugging him tightly.

"Shh, I'm alright, see?" Roxas cried harder, close to hysterical. "It'll be okay," he repeated over and over. "Did he hurt you?" he asked softly.

"He mostly just touched me," Roxas murmured into the red-head's chest. Axel gripped the blond protectively.

"He'd better be getting the death sentence or I'm going to fucking dismember him."

"Leon assured me that he will."

"Good," the red-head whispered, "Now you can move on and finally be happy." Roxas bit his lower lip, terrified of telling the red-head about his disease.

"Yeah," he whispered back, just before the door reopened. Roxas sat up seeing that Axel's mother was approaching them.

"Roxas honey are you hung- Axel!" She yelled, going to her son and hugging him. "I was so scared! Are you okay baby?!" The red-head returned her embrace.

"Yeah. I'll be okay, mom. I'm ready to go home any time." he replied.

"That's for the doctor to decide, not you!" She scolded, crying. He smiled softly.

"I'm glad that you're okay too," he whispered. "I was so scared when I got that call…"

Cloud entered the room upon hearing the commotion and Roxas gripped Axel's hand.

"I'm going to go eat something…" he said to Axel, "So that you two have a moment." Axel looked like he was about to protest so he smiled. "I'll come back later, promise," kissing his cheek before slipping away.

--

Cloud took Roxas to a restaurant to get him away from the hospital for the first time in weeks. He smiled as Roxas eagerly ate his food.

"I'm glad Axel woke up. It's nice- seeing you happy." Roxas paused, staring at his food for a long moment, appetite suddenly decreased.

"Do you suppose it'll last? The happiness?" Cloud blinked.

"Of course it will. He loves you, Roxas." Roxas stared up at his brother.

"I don't doubt Axel's feelings. I doubt me being able to be happy for very long. What if I die soon?"

"Then you'll die happy, beside the person you love. You did tell him, didn't you?" Roxas closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"I'm still scared. Do I even deserve to be happy?"

Cloud gripped his hand, sighing softly. "Of course you do honey! Look... I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I suggest you tell him sooner rather than later." Roxas nodded, poking at his food.

"I know."

"Just... Trust Axel." Roxas nodded again, taking a bite of food so that Cloud wouldn't worry.

--

The next day, Axel began physical therapy. Amazingly, he didn't seem to have any impairments and after about a week, he was released from the hospital. Ironically, it was on the same day that Luxord was to be executed by lethal injection.

Axel went with Roxas at the blond's request and Leon took the two, as well as Cloud, to the institution where Luxord was being held. They were seated in the room next to Luxord's, separated by a glass window.

"Don't worry," Leon assured, "You can see him but he can't see you." They'd arrived fifteen minutes early.

Roxas stared at the blond who was strapped down, heart pounding. He had been calling out his name repeatedly. Axel was shaking from anger at the sight. As soon as the small blond sat down, Luxord looked directly at him. Roxas stared harder. The older blond was actually crying.

"What does he want?" Roxas asked.

"We're not sure…" Leon replied. "He's been like this for days. Maybe he senses the end approaching." Roxas nodded slowly, heart heavy when he saw how pathetic the other blond looked, crying like that, not even able to wipe away his own tears. He winced, Luxord continued, voice sounding strained.

"Can I… Can I speak to him?"

"Roxas are you serious?!" Axel whispered in disbelief. Cloud crossed his arms.

"I agree with Axel for once. What are you thinking?!" Roxas closed his eyes.

"I need to know what he wants or it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life," the blond replied. "Please, Leon," he whispered, reopening his eyes and standing. The officer hesitated.

"Alright. But only if you promise to signal if he threatens you." Roxas nodded and, despite the other two's protests followed the officer.

--

The door to his room opened and Luxord tensed. He had no doubt he was about to die- they'd attached an IV to his arm, after all. His eyes widened when he saw the person who he'd been calling for enter the room.

Roxas stopped a few feet away from his uncle, pity in his pretty blue eyes. "What _else_ do you want from me?" he asked, crossing his arms. The older blond closed his eyes for a long moment, feeling guilt from the statement. "If it's that unimportant, I'm leaving," he said.

"Roxas wait!" Luxord called. The blond hesitated. He sounded… pitiful. "I know that I'm asking a lot but… will you come closer?"

"I'll listen from here." Luxord closed his eyes again for a long moment.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"W-what?" Roxas asked, almost taking a step forward. Almost.

"I'll tell you why I did the things to you that I did if you come closer." Roxas hesitated.

"Why do I have to come closer?" he asked, burning with curiosity.

"Because I only want you to hear. _Please_." Roxas hesitantly took a few steps closer, stopping at Luxord's bedside.

"If you try anything, Axel will dismember you," he whispered.

"It's not like I can move," Luxord replied. "Besides, you already proved that you can take care of yourself." Roxas nodded.

"Alright. Tell me." Shades of blue locked. Roxas' heart was pounding.

"All those years ago, I _did_ love you." Roxas' eyes widened before he continued.

"Shortly after I moved here, I saw you for the first time when I started to babysit you for my sister. That's when I fell in love with you. After I…" he said, closing his eyes, "After I lost control and raped you… I became obsessed with you." Roxas stared at the shaking man. "I didn't think we could ever be together any other way, so I treated you like a possession... instead of a person. And then… when you were taken away from me, I snapped, becoming desperate to get to you again."

"I noticed," Roxas replied. Those icy eyes opened and locked with Roxas' cerulean.

"I know that I don't deserve it but could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"

Roxas' eyes welled up with tears.

"No, you don't deserve it," he whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Do you have any idea of how fucked up I am because of you? I'm depressed, have close to no friends, had to go to therapists _and_ you gave me HIV," he said lowly, crying harder. Luxord's eyes widened at the revelation.

"I… I didn't even realize…"

"No, obviously you didn't," Roxas interrupted before he could finish, wiping his eyes. "I do however think that you're sincere in your want for forgiveness. And so before I die, I'll try to fulfill your last wish." Luxord shook his head, staring at the ceiling.

"No, that's not my final wish."

"What else could you possibly require?" Roxas asked, staring at the blond.

"I… I'm going to die today, aren't I?" Roxas nodded. "Will you stay with me until then? I know it's selfish but I don't want to die alone." The smaller boy hesitated, filled with mixed emotions as the door reopened.

"Okay," he whispered. Luxord smiled.

"You're a good person… Roxas." He winced, closing his eyes as paramedics began to prepare the shot that would end his life, shaking. Roxas instinctively gripped his hand, tears streaming down his face. Luxord relaxed as their eyes locked one last time, distracted by the blond. "It's alright, you don't have to cry for me, honey. I deserve this." He smiled softly after a moment. "I'm glad your red-head survived. You deserve _happiness…"_ Roxas cried harder as those icy eyes slowly slid shut and the hand he was holding went limp. He couldn't help but stand there for moments longer.

The blond gasped when hands gripped his shoulders, staring up into vivid green eyes.

"Are you alright?" Axel asked softly, brushing away the blond's tears as Roxas nodded slowly, "…What did he want?" Roxas hugged the red-head tightly, murmuring his response into the other's chest.

"_Forgiveness_."

--

-TBC-

A/N: Did I surprise anyone? O:

Let me know if you liked it? If you didn't like it? I shall appreciate it greatly :]

( esp since ffn hates me and decided to make me try to update this for an hour (: )

( that's a sarcastic smile )


	11. Chapter 11

Rating: **M**

A/N: I'm so sorry for taking a while again x:

My excuse (aside from being a bad author for making her fans wait): …for the first time in a long time… I'm falling in love (:

Good news for you though: I'm going to try very very hard to get on the ball with writing. I have two new things to post by my birthday (which's less than a month away :cc) and I shall be disappointed in myself if I don't meet the deadline. (I already missed the one for Christmas… by a long shot rofl).

Anyhow I'm rambling haha; enjoy the update (:

**Bitter**

Chapter 11

**-- **

Days passed and Roxas found himself zoning out more and more, feeling as if he were in a daze. He had a lot on his mind- Luxord' request, whether or not he should bother trying to go back to school, how to tell the red-head that he had HIV… How _was_ he going to tell Axel?

The blond jumped when a hand gripped his shoulder. He and the very red-head he'd been thinking about were currently alone, hanging out at Roxas' house.

"Oh… hey." Axel frowned.

"You're doing it again." The blond smiled apologetically, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

"I'm sorry, I just…" The red-head returned Roxas' smile before ruffling his hair.

"It's alright. I'm sure you have a lot on your mind." Roxas nodded slowly.

"… yeah." Axel gripped his lover's hand.

"Let's go somewhere." Roxas blinked.

"What?"

"I think you need to get out." The blond nodded hesitantly.

"Alright."

--

Roxas laughed lightly as he was drug into one of the many malls in their town just before Axel covered his eyes, telling him not to peek and that he wanted to surprise him. The blond smiled slightly.

"I'll keep my eyes closed and you can lead me to where you want to take me."

"You'd better." The red-head replied.

"I promise." Axel smirked, tugging Roxas along. It wasn't long before curiosity overtook him however and Roxas found himself breaking his promise. The blond's face flushed when Axel abruptly turned, catching him in the act. The red-head pouted.

"Roxasss you promiseddd." Roxas laughed at the childish tone.

"Sorry," he replied amusedly. Axel huffed.

"Too late for that," the red-head replied and before Roxas could respond he pulled him close then gripped him and threw him over his shoulder. The blond flushed deeply.

"Axel! Put me down!" he protested, writhing and hitting the red-head's back as passersby stared.

"Not a chance," he replied to the squirming blond.

"Aw, c'mon, really? This isn't fair!" The red-head merely grinned and began to saunter toward their destination.

--

By the time Axel stopped, Roxas had given up fighting.

"We're here, I take it." Axel smirked widely.

"Yeah."

"And where exactly is 'here'?" The blond asked. The red-head grinned before setting his lover down.

"Take a look." Roxas raised an eyebrow then hesitantly did as he was told. He blinked then tilted his head back so he could look at the other boy.

"An aquarium..?" The blond had heard that there was one in the basement of one of the malls and guessed that that was why the red-head had taken the elevator down a floor. Axel nodded and Roxas smiled.

"Cloud told me that you liked them." The blond's smile widened, his eyes lighting up.

"I love them, actually." Axel returned the smile.

"Well then, it's a good thing that I brought you here, isn't it?" Roxas nodded, grinning, before grasping the other boy's hand and leading him forward. They paused to pay admittance and each pulled out their wallet. "Put that away," the red-head said, pulling out enough money for both of them.

"But-"

"Coming here was my idea, remember? So I want to pay." Roxas pouted then closed his eyes, sighing.

"Okay, fine," he said, doing as he was told. Axel smirked just before paying and receiving two wristbands. Roxas pouted again when the red-head took his wrist and began to put the band on. "I can do that."

"Oh, sorry," Axel said, smiling nervously, "I just always have trouble so I thought I'd help you." Roxas' gaze softened. "Will you help me with mine?"

"Sure," the blond replied, taking the wristband and securing it around Axel's wrist.

"Thanks, Rox." Roxas nodded as the red-head took his hand and lead him inside. "Have you ever been here before?" The blond shook his head.

"Nope, never."

"Come this way then," the red-head replied, tugging Roxas along. The blond smiled at the excited look on his lover's face.

"Okay."

--

Roxas gasped as Axel led him deeper into the aquarium and they entered a tunnel that was in the middle of a huge tank. It looked like they were in the middle of the ocean and the blond gasped again when a shark swam overhead.

"Wooow, Axel!" He said excitedly, pressing his hand against the glass, lighting up when a giant tortoise approached him, regarding the boy curiously. The red-head smiled, gripping Roxas' shoulders gently.

"Enjoying it?" The blond nodded excitedly, still fixated on the turtle. Axel laughed lightly. "Like him?" He asked softly. Roxas nodded, watching as it proceeded to swim overhead.

"Turtles are my favorite."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah," the red-head replied. "See that blue band around his left leg?" Roxas nodded, slightly confused. "That means that he's yours." Roxas stared up at the red-head.

"No way! How?!"

"You can adopt the animals here."

"You adopted a turtle for me?" The red-head smiled.

"All you have to do is name him." Roxas beamed, hugging the other boy tightly.

"Goofy," He said, decidedly.

"Wha-? I'm not-" Roxas laughed.

"Not you, the turtle," He replied, watching as it began to spin in the sand. "He's goofy so I'm naming him that." Axel laughed, following Roxas' gaze and likewise watching the turtle.

"I like it."

--

They exited the tunnel and, after feeding Goofy and telling the staff that that's what its name was, the two found themselves in a different branch of the aquarium, surrounded by jellyfish.

"I like this place. Thanks for bringing me here," Roxas whispered, squeezing Axel's hand. The red-head smiled, pale skin glowing. All that was lighting the room was the jellyfish themselves.

"You're welcome. I'm glad that you're doing better." Roxas leaned against the red-head.

"Axel… I…" The blond whispered.

"Mm?" Roxas shook his head.

"All you have to do is be with me to make me happy, you know."

"What're you saying?" The red-head asked, looking down at the blond confusedly.

"That… I appreciate this but you don't have to take me somewhere for me to be happy… and… I… I don't know. That… I just want to be with you… and that I think… I think that maybe I love you too." Those vivid green eyes lit up and a smile came across their owner's face.

"Well then, I think I'll keep doing what I'm doing." Roxas laughed lightly.

"Why?" he asked, gasping as he was pressed against the cold glass and a hand gently caressed his cheek.

"Because I must be doing something right," he whispered as he leant closer. The jellyfish glowed brighter just before the red-head's lips gently brushed against Roxas'. The blond closed his eyes and opened his mouth when the taller boy applied more pressure, more than willing to let the red-head kiss him. He pulled Axel closer as the other boy deepened the kiss, kissing back and beginning to get lost just before the red-head pulled back. Roxas stared up at Axel, catching his breath after a moment or two.

"C'mon, I want to show you something else." Roxas nodded as his hand was grasped, mind fuzzy.

"Okay," he replied, nodding and following Axel into another room. His eyes lit up as they went inside. It was filled with different open tanks where you could pet various creatures. It seemed to be the most popular room, so the two went to the only tank that didn't have anyone at it.

Roxas peered into the water in front of him, seeing a manta ray inside. He smiled down at it a bit timidly.

"You can pet it you know," Axel said after a few moments. Roxas nodded.

"I know…" he replied, watching as Axel dipped his fingers into the water, gently touching the animal before doing the same. The blond almost immediately pulled his hand back. "…it feels weird." Axel laughed lightly.

"I like it, personally."

"I do too… but it's still weird." The red-head laughed again at Roxas' expression.

"A bit, I suppose." Roxas opened his mouth to say something but before he could, his stomach growled quite loudly, making him blush an adorable shade of red. "Let's go upstairs and eat something at the food court."

"But-"

"Don't worry. We can come back whenever you want."

"…Alright."

--

After eating Chinese food at the food court, Roxas found himself being walked home by his red-head. The blond smiled down at the fingers that were interlocked with his own, happy just at the feeling.

When they finally ascended the stairs leading to Roxas' door, the red-head paused, frowning before grasping the blond's waist.

"I have to get going." Roxas nodded, somewhat disappointed.

"Okay…" The red-head lifted the blond's chin.

"Hey, don't look so glum. We'll see each other again soon. So, smile for me, please." The shorter boy nodded, smiling slightly. "There we go."

"I love you, Roxas," he whispered in the blond's ear. Roxas flushed and Axel kissed his cheek. "Bye," he whispered.

Roxas smiled sadly as the taller boy pulled away, watching as he walked away.

"Bye…" he whispered.

--

It was a days before Roxas heard from Axel again. As it neared being a week without even being called, the blond began to get nervous and fidgety, wondering if he'd done something wrong or whether he should call Axel or not.

Roxas jumped as he phone vibrated in his back pocket, hastily checking to see who it was as he'd been doing for the past week. He hesitated when he saw that it was Axel who was calling before answering.

"H-hello?"

"_Roxas, can you come over? I need to talk to you about something."_

"In person?" the blond asked.

"_Yes. Can you?"_ Roxas nodded slowly at the serious tone.

"Okay…" he replied.

"_Okay see you when you get here,"_ the red-head replied before hanging up. Roxas hesitated for a long moment before getting up to go find his brother to ask for a ride, wondering what was going on.

--

Cloud dropped his brother off at Axel's house, telling him to call if he was going to be out late, before taking off. Roxas waved before approaching the door timidly. He took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

Moments later, Axel opened the door, grinning like mad when he saw the smaller boy. Roxas blinked, gasping in surprise when he was pulled into a hug, spun around and then kissed enthusiastically.

"A-Axel?" he questioned.

"Roxas! I did it!"

"…Did what exactly…?"

"I got into the school I wanted to!" He said, unable to contain how excited he was. Roxas blinked.

"That's great! …I'm happy for you…" he replied, feeling his heart clench.

Honestly, he was happy for Axel… One of his dreams was coming true. But at the same time, it meant that he'd move away and leave the blond behind for however long it took him to finish his schooling, which would be a year. Longer maybe, but Roxas knew he couldn't ask him not to go. "Is… Is that what you wanted to tell me?" he asked, trying to seem happy. The red-head nodded, grin widening.

"Yeah. Come inside." Roxas nodded and followed the red-head, shutting the door behind him. They walked into the living room and the blond sat next to the taller boy when he sat on the couch, surprised when his hand was gripped tightly. "Rox…"

"Y-yeah?"

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you for a while. I was busy making living arrangements." The blond nodded slowly. Axel would have gone even if he hadn't been okay with it? "It's harder to find bigger places there." Roxas blinked, looking at the red-head questioningly. Axel stared into Roxas' eyes, looking quite serious. "I want you to come with me."

Roxas' eyes widened, his heart pounding. "Y-you what?" Axel looked away.

"I know it's sudden and I was hesitant to ask because you haven't graduated yet… but…" he said, looking into those ocean blue eyes, "I can't imagine life without you and I don't want to. So… will you come with me?" Roxas smiled widely, relieved.

"I thought you were about to leave me," he whispered, smile fading as emerald locked with his sapphire.

"Never, got it memorized?" The blond's eyes lit up and he hugged the red-head tightly before he bit his lower lip. More than anything he wanted to go with Axel, but at the same time he was scared, a lot of 'what ifs' running through his mind.

"I… I want to go with you but I don't know if I can. You're the most important thing to me right now. But I need to talk to my brother about it too..."

"I understand completely, Rox." The blond stared into those emeralds, swallowing. "Hey, promise me something."

"Okay."

"Don't force yourself to come with me. I'll understand if you can't or don't want to and will wait to be with you once we're both done with school." Roxas looked away, wondering if he'd have that long.

"I want to go with you. But I won't do it behind Cloud's back." The red-head nodded, smiling slightly.

"Alright. Talk to him and tell me what you decide." Roxas nodded, feeling slightly sick because he was growing ever more anxious.

"I will."

-TBC-

A/N: Am I surprising anyone? :P (my goal is to keep you guessing haha).

I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. Do me a favor and let me know if you did? Or if you didn't? I do appreciate it.

--

I'm alive, I'm alive...

I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healing


	12. Chapter 12

Rating: **M**

A/N: Dear Nel, I kepeesh

**Bitter**

Chapter 12

**-- **

Roxas had arrived home an hour later, shutting the front door and taking a deep, shaky breath. He hesitated for a long moment then began to search for his brother, wondering how he'd be able to ask Cloud if he could leave since he was all he had left, or if he should. It'd kill him if Axel caught his HIV.

The blond paused, debating. He was so preoccupied that he didn't even see his brother approaching him.

"Hey honey," came Cloud's voice, making Roxas jump. Shades of blue locked.

"Hi Cloud… I uhm, need to talk to you about something…" The elder blond blinked.

"Okay."

--

Cloud patiently listened, allowing Roxas tell him what was going on, letting him tell him about Axel's plans to move since he got into the school he wanted to and how the red-head had asked him to come along.

"Do you want to go honey?" he asked.

"I do! But I'm torn because I don't want to leave you either and I… I'm just unsure." Cloud smiled.

"Well, he must love you a lot," he reasoned, "Since he asked you to go with him even though you have HIV." Roxas bit his lower lip, looking down, and the older blond's face fell. "You didn't tell him, did you?" Roxas closed his eyes.

"I can't… I mean… I know that I should, but… I… I don't know how to." Cloud hugged his brother, sighing softly.

"The opportunity will present itself when the time is right, I'm sure," he said, resting his chin on top of the smaller boy's head. "Now, about going with him," he continued. Roxas tensed. "I want you to know that even though I'll miss you terribly, I'm not against you going."

"Really?"

"Really. Roxas… I only want happiness for you. You deserve it. And if being with Axel makes you happiest, then that's who I want you to be with, so long as you continue to take your medicine and check in with me regularly." Roxas hugged his brother tightly, thanking him.

"You know, I'm going to miss you horribly too, right?" Cloud laughed lightly, nodding.

"You're welcome to call or come by any time. The key you have to this house will always be yours." Roxas smiled, hugging his brother more tightly.

"I love you, Cloud." The elder blond returned the smile.

"I love you too, Roxas."

"I know," the blond whispered before beginning to slip away.

"Roxas?" Roxas glanced back at his brother.

"…Yes?"

"My offer still stands to castrate him if he hurts you." The blond laughed before grinning at the smirk on his brother's lips.

"Thanks, Cloud."

--

Weeks later, after much continued planning from the red-head, packing, and discussions with Cloud, Roxas was hugging his brother goodbye. Shades of blue locked, each shining.

"Be careful honey." Roxas nodded, sniffling and hugging Cloud tightly one more time.

"Come and visit me soon, okay?" Cloud smiled.

"Of course," he whispered, kissing the top of his brother's head and raising his chin. "Behave yourself, okay? Roxas smiled back.

"I will," he said softly, picking up a bag full of last minute stuff.

"Bye, Roxas," the Cloud whispered as his brother began to walk away. Roxas put the bag in the trunk of Axel's mother's car then waved one last time before getting in. She was going to help the two move since Cloud and Marluxia had to work and couldn't get out of it.

"Hey, Rox," Axel whispered, taking the blond's hand in his own. Their fingers entwined.

"Hey," the blond whispered back as their eyes locked.

"You okay?" Roxas nodded, smiling sadly.

"I'm just going to miss Cloud a lot."

--

They drove for two hours, ending up at a place called Atlantica. It was well-known for its emphasis on music, art and the ocean surrounding it and was sometimes referred to as Ocean City. Roxas smiled when they arrived and could see why the red-head wanted to live here someday. It was stunning.

"What do you think?" Axel whispered.

"It's beautiful." The red-head smiled in response just before Aerith stopped the car.

"We're here guys." Roxas glanced out the window and saw the building that they were to live in. It was a large apartment building, having four floors, and looked like it was built at least fifty years prior.

"Which floor are we going to be on?" he asked the red-head in a hushed tone.

"The first since there are patio doors and we can fit a piano in that way—hope that's okay." Roxas smiled, nodding. He hadn't even realized that Axel had been planning on bringing one.

"Hey mom, do you mind if I show Roxas around first?" he asked.

"Not at all honey," she replied.

The red-head smiled at his blond, grasping Roxas' hand and taking him inside the building. Roxas was happy to see that the landlord seemed to be keen on cleanliness and that the interior wasn't filthy. He let Axel lead him to their new residence; apartment eight.

The red-head stuck the key into the lock, unlocking the door with ease before taking his keys out of the door and putting them into his pocket. Axel opened the door, letting Roxas go inside first.

The blond stepped into the living quarters. There was a small entryway that opened up to the living area. The kitchen was fair in size and partially closed off from the living room. Axel locked the door then led the blond further into the apartment.

There was a small closet at the beginning of the hallway that led to the two bedrooms. Across from the first bedroom, there was a full bathroom and at the end of the hallway, a larger bedroom. It was double the size of the first.

"Do you want the bigger room, the smaller room, or do you want to share?" the red-head asked. Roxas glanced back at him. He wanted to share a room, but at the same time he was afraid to because of his disease.

"I'll take the smaller room," he replied. Axel nodded slowly and the blond smiled softly. "For now…"

"Alright," the red-head replied, squeezing Roxas' hand gently.

"Which piano did you bring?" Roxas asked.

"It's new so you haven't seen it yet—a gift from my parents. It's a digital Yamaha piano so it won't take up as much space."

"I can't wait to see it," the blond replied, smiling.

"I suppose we'd better start then. If you want to wait here, mom and I can bring in the piano first." Roxas nodded.

"Alright." He watched as Axel slipped away, going through the patio door.

In the red-head's absence, the blond glanced around once more. He liked this place. It was nice and spacious and looked like it'd been remodeled recently. The walls were white and there was a neutral colored carpet on the floor. Roxas briefly wondered if they'd be allowed to paint as he glanced outside through the patio door. It even looked like he and Axel had a little bit of grassy area that would be theirs, since they were in the back of the building. He smiled when he saw the red-head and Aerith approaching and opened the door for them.

The two set the piano down while Roxas locked the patio door. It had barely fit. "Ready to unload the rest?" Aerith asked. Roxas and Axel nodded, heading for the door.

--

They finished unpacking and arranging furniture almost two hours later.

Roxas sat on the red couch that Axel's parents had given them to use, utterly exhausted. He hadn't realized they'd had so much stuff until then. He looked out into the room. Across from the sofa, and off to the side, were the piano, and in the corner, a TV and game consoles as well as lots of boxes mostly with food in them from Axel's mother and Cloud, who had been more of a mother hen than Aerith had.

"Thank you so much for the help, mom," Axel said, hugging her and pulling Roxas out of his thoughts.

"It was nothing, baby, thank you for letting me help." Axel nodded as she handed him a list. "These are the numbers of all of the fast food places here in town, for when you and Roxas get hungry later. I'm sure you're not going to unpack everything tonight." The red-head nodded again.

"Thanks mom." Aerith beamed then hugged Axel one more time.

"I'm going to get going then. Call me if you need anything," she said, pulling back then going to Roxas and hugging him as well. "You too, honey," she whispered. Roxas nodded.

"Thank you, Aerith." The brunette smiled.

"Bye, you two, have fun settling in," she replied, pulling away and then exiting the apartment as Roxas waved. Axel closed and locked the door behind her then walked up to the blond.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, reviewing the list. Roxas nodded.

"Yeah."

"How about ordering a pizza then?" He asked, sitting beside the smaller boy. The blond smiled.

"I'd like that," he replied. Axel smiled.

"What kind do you want?"

"Whatever—I'm not picky."

"Okay, great."

Roxas smiled softly as the red-head began to order their pizza then got up and went into the kitchen, a large box full of food in hand, to take a closer look and start to unpack. It looked like they had a lot of cupboard space under the counters and in hanging cabinets as well. He smiled up at the red-head when he joined him.

"What're you doing?"

"Just going to unpack a little."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to start. The sooner, the better and the more room we'll have." Axel smiled slightly.

"Care for some help then?" he asked, walking further into the room.

"If you want to," Roxas replied, glancing over his shoulder.

"Of course," he whispered. "Where do you want everything?" Roxas peered into the box.

"Uhm well… let's put the things that need refrigeration into the fridge first."

"Alright. They should all be in this box- mom put them all together."

"Okay. Don't worry about where you put stuff- we can just rearrange it later if it's a mess." The red-head nodded, opening the door and putting the items inside as Roxas handed them to him one by one.

"There all done. I vote for taking a break."

"But we just started," Roxas said amusedly. "You're giving up on helping me already?"

"Nope."

"Nope?"

"That's right—you're taking a break with me," he said, scooping up the blond and holding him bridal style. Roxas gasped.

"Axel, put me down!" The red-head smirked.

"Why?"

"Because I want to unpack more!" Roxas whined. Axel's smirk widened.

"Nope, sorry babe," he said, walking down the hall as Roxas writhed and into his bedroom, turning on the light with his elbow. "Now if I set you down, no running away." Roxas bit his lower lip.

"Fine," he replied. Axel set him down and he began to walk out of the room. He was unsurprised but still displeased when the red-head grasped his waist. Roxas looked up. "I didn't run, I was walking." The older boy seemed amused.

"Unpacking can wait. Or don't you want to spend time with me?"

"Of course I do… I just…" the blond replied, turning around to face the red-head. He was halfway pouting. "Okay… fine." Axel brightened before sitting then patted the floor, having Roxas join him. The red-head looked at the blond studiously.

"Do you still miss Cloud?" Roxas nodded.

"Yeah... It's gonna be different... not living with him."

"Not regretting coming with me, are you?" The blond shook his head.

"Never." Axel smiled.

"Good," he whispered. "Now… since that's not it, what's on your mind? You've seemed… distracted." Roxas' eyes widened slightly, his heart pounding.

"I… uhm..."

"Are you still upset with me for not spending time with you lately?" Roxas nodded.

"Y-yeah," he whispered, halfway lying and glancing away. Axel raised his chin, making him look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Roxas whispered back.

"Why not, if I'm at fault?" The blond looked away.

"Just don't." Axel nodded.

"Alright, sure," he whispered, eyes lingering on the blond's face.

"Axel?"

"Yes?"

"What're you thinking about?" The red-head let Roxas go, scratching the back of his head instead.

"Just worrying about you."

"Can I change that?" Roxas whispered, leaning closer.

"Afraid not, since I'm the cause," Axel whispered back, smirking and closing the space between them, kissing the blond briefly before pulling back. He was surprised, yet pleased when Roxas leant back in and returned the kiss and the smaller boy closed his eyes as the red-head cupped his cheek. The older male began to nibble on the blond's lower lip before licking it and Roxas tremored, letting him continue, kissing back until the red-head pulled back. They stared at one another longingly for a long moment then the red-head pushed the blond down. Roxas found himself gasping as his lover prowled on top of him.

Axel bent down until they were barely an inch apart, placing a hand on either side of the blond to support himself. "Not afraid to have me on top of you, are you?" he whispered. Roxas nodded, hating Luxord for more reasons than one.

"A little bit."

"Want me to get off?" Roxas hesitated.

"I'll give it a try," he whispered, just before the red-head's lips engulfed his own once more and Axel ravished his mouth. The blond reached up weaving his hands into that fiery hair, pulling Axel closer as he deepened the kiss. Roxas relaxed his jaw and the older male's tongue slipped into his mouth. They brushed, just before the blond began to participate for a second time. Axel held Roxas in place as he pulled back, biting the blond's lower lip then worked his way down the smaller boy's chin.

Roxas gasped as the red-head trailed open-mouthed kisses down his neck and then proceeded to bite and suckle at the skin harshly. The blond moaned, pulling the red-head closer and Axel ran his tongue along the sensitive skin before claiming a new area. Roxas moaned again, more loudly this time, but tensed when a hand slid up his shirt. Axel continued to kiss him all the while, not seeming to notice. The blond moaned into his mouth once more, shaking as his lover began to play with him. The red-head was making his body temperature shoot up at an alarming rate and he was quite relieved when a knock came from their door.

Axel hesitated then pulled back, glancing toward the door. He frowned before looking down at the blond once again. "Guess that's the pizza," he whispered. Roxas nodded. "Be right back," he said, kissing the blond's cheek before getting off. Roxas closed his eyes for a long moment then got up, going into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He stared at his reflection. His hair was more disheveled than usual and there were two angry red marks on his neck. Roxas was certain they'd be bruises. He frowned, touching them and wincing. He sighed softly. Yep; they would, the found himself thinking. Roxas leaned against the wall, sliding down to the floor, closing his eyes again and letting out a shaky breath.

He couldn't believe how much he'd liked that and was scared shitless because of how quickly his body had reacted to the red-head. He still felt like he was burning up and banged his head against the wall, biting his lower lip to keep from muttering about how much his life sucked, deciding to stay where he was for a while.

--

-TBC-

A/N: Sorry for taking such a very long time to update.  
Currently I'm emoing off and on. If you talk to me outside of FFN, you know why. I hope anyway.

If you liked it, or if you didn't, please do tell me? Thanks.


	13. Chapter 13

Rating: **M**

A/N: soo ffn's being gay and erased all of the lines I had as separators for scenes for all of my fics… don't yell at me for it please. Just hope they fix it, cos I'm not gonna cos it'd be a colossal pain in the ass.

I'll be using a substitute from now on.

**Bitter**

Chapter 13

xXXXXXXXXXx

There was a soft knock on the door and Roxas looked up.

"Roxas? The pizza's here," the red-head called. The blond didn't reply and the red-head knocked louder, calling out to the other boy for a second time. Roxas sighed, getting up and walking to the door. Just when he was about to open it, the older boy did, smacking Roxas in the face in the process. "Oh God! I'm so sorry!"

Hesitantly, the blond opened his eyes, though his head was pounding, as Axel rushed toward him. The red-head grimaced. "Shit, you're bleeding." Roxas' eyes widened and he reached up, feeling the warm, sticky liquid running down his face from his nose. He stared at the crimson staining his hand, horrified. Axel reached out to touch him and Roxas scrambled backward.

"Get out," he whispered, eyes welling up with tears.

"No, you're hurt. I want to help you!"

Some blood dripped onto the floor and Axel reached over, grabbing some toilet paper, going to clean it up but Roxas stopped him. "Don't touch it, don't touch me, just get out!" He yelled. The red-head blinked, looking stunned.

"Wh-what's wrong, Rox?" he asked, reaching to touch the blond again.

"Get out!" Roxas yelled again, fear and adrenaline coiling up in his stomach as he tried his hardest not to cry. Axel stiffened before handing over the toilet paper. He bit his lower lip and then leant in closer.

"Fine. But when it stops, find me. We need to talk," He whispered, exiting the room as he'd been requested to, not looking back as he shut the door behind him. Once he was gone, the blond covered his mouth and let loose the tears he'd been holding back, hating that he'd hurt the red-head.

It took a few moments, but Roxas managed to pull himself together and clean himself up, plugging his nose with the toilet paper and trying to think of an explanation, anything, besides the truth.

He couldn't.

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Eventually, he stopped bleeding and Roxas flushed away the bloody toilet paper, taking a deep breath before exiting the room. He needed to clean up the rest of the blood that had fallen to the floor.

He opened the door, heart pounding as he poked his head out. He sighed in relief when he didn't see the red-head and went into the living room, digging in the bag with the last minute stuff. Cloud had thought to give him bleach, just in case something like this happened. Finding it and a rag, Roxas stood, but froze when he saw that Axel was sitting at the piano, watching him closely.

"What are you doing?"

"I-I have to clean up the blood."

"It can wait. We're talking now."

"No!" Roxas replied, tone panicked.

"Yes. I'll even clean it up later for making you wait." Roxas shook his head.

"Please, we'll talk after, just give me a minute, _please_." A delicate eyebrow rose, but Axel didn't protest as the blond hurried to the bathroom. When he didn't return for a good while, Axel got up to investigate, that eyebrow travelling higher as he stood in the doorway, arms crossed. Roxas was cleaning obsessively, even though the blood was long gone.

"What are you doing?" He asked for a second time. Roxas jumped, looking up.

"C-cleaning." Axel hummed.

"What are these?" He asked, holding up a familiar pill bottle. It had been in the same bag that the bleach had been in. Roxas stood, his eyes widening in both fear and disbelief.

"You went through my stuff?! I can't believe you!"

"Of course I did! Why wouldn't I investigate?! You're acting crazy! What the fuck are these?! Why were you freaking out earlier? Why are you cleaning like a maniac?!" he demanded, advancing on the blond with each question and backing Roxas up against the wall. The blond looked away and Axel punched the wall, making him jump. "Don't look away, don't prolong it anymore, answer me, goddamnit!" Hesitantly Roxas looked at his love, terrified.

"You can't fathom how difficult that is for me to do," he whispered.

"Why? Do you not trust me?" Roxas closed his eyes. "If you'd _ever_ had anything to tell me, _anything_ you were keeping from me, I would've been nonjudgmental. I would have listened to you! Trust is one of the key things you need when you're in a relationship, Roxas. If you can't trust me, we shouldn't be together. So, if you've got something to tell me, you'd better start talking. You don't have a choice anymore." Ocean blue met the red-head's emerald green eyes. Axel looked angry and equally hurt.

"I'll tell you, I promise just please don't leave me, _please_," he whimpered. Axel nodded, looking at him expectantly. Roxas looked away. "God… I'm so scared…" he whispered, shaking. Arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a hug and Axel sighed heavily.

"You can tell me _anything_, I promise." Shaking, Roxas hugged the red-head back.

"I'm so sorry for yelling at you earlier when you were trying to help." Axel nodded.

"Alright, I'll forgive you for that so long as you tell me the rest." Roxas nodded, biting his lower lip.

"I…" he whispered, eyes rimmed with tears, "w-when I was eight, my uncle was proven guilty and sentenced to go to jail for twenty-five years. He only went for eight years though because of good behavior." He whispered looking up at the red-head. "The uhm… the same day he went to jail for r-raping me, we got a call from the doctor's office. They'd messed up one of my labs we'd had done. My brother had been determined to make sure Luxord would never touch me again and was willing to do whatever it'd take," he said softer yet in explanation. "And know what we found out?" Roxas whispered, trying his hardest not to cry.

"What?" Axel whispered back.

"He gave me a final parting gift- a death sentence as Cloud put it; HIV. Those pills in your hand are prolonging my life." Axel's eyes widened and he pulled back, dropping them, hands shaking as he grasped Roxas' shoulders and stared down at the smaller boy.

"Wh-what?! Are you serious?!" Roxas nodded. "How long do you have left, to live?!"

"I don't know."

"N-no…" Axel whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?! Why didn't you…" he whispered, looking like he was about to cry, himself.

"I… I don't know…" The red-head looked away then closed his eyes. "Axel, please, I'm so sorry! I was scared! I'm so sorry…" he whispered over and over.

"I… I need a moment," the older boy murmured, pulling away before walking to his bedroom and closing the door behind him.

Roxas stared at the floor for a long time, closing his eyes as the tears started and began to run down his face. After a long moment, he bent down, picking up his medicine and pocketing it, already deciding that he'd stop taking it if the red-head couldn't accept him.

He picked up the bleach, setting it on the counter, threw the rag away, and then went into the living room, ending up on the sofa, curling up and crying silently, wondering how badly he'd hurt Axel.

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

It was over an hour before the red-head left his room. He glanced into the bathroom and Roxas' decided room quickly. Seeing that the blond was in neither, he continued down the hall, noticing that familiar golden hair and seeing that Roxas was lying on the sofa, facing away from him. Axel went to him and peered down at him.

The blond's eyes were closed, his music was blaring, and it looked like he'd been crying. The red-head bit on his lower lip then placed his hand on top of the smaller boy's head, running it through those soft golden spikes. Those blue eyes opened wide and Roxas stared up at the red-head. The blond turned off his Zune and took out the headphones. Axel adverted his gaze.

"You should eat something."

"Lost my appetite," Roxas whispered.

"Please?" Roxas nodded slowly.

"For you." Axel knelt beside the blond, shaking his head.

"No, for yourself." Roxas smiled sadly.

"But you're my rhyme and reason. Without you I've neither."

"What would Cloud say if he heard you say that?" Roxas looked away.

"I…" He stared up at the red-head when Axel grasped his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to guilt you. I just want you to think about him too."

"Are you angry with me?"

"Of course I am." Roxas bit his lower lip. "You lied to me, Roxas." The blond looked like he were about to protest. "Exclusion on something this important is just as bad." The smaller boy closed his eyes and a hand cupped his cheek. "But… it'll be okay. If we're careful and do some research… everything should be just fine." Roxas opened his eyes, blinking dumbly a few times.

"What?"

"Remember when I was fighting to be with you, and said I was doomed to get my heart broken because I already loved you?" Roxas nodded slowly. "Guess I was right."

"I don't understand…" Axel sighed softly.

"Roxas…" he breathed, making the blond's heart pound. "I love you all the same. With or without HIV, you're still my Roxas. The only regrettable thing about the former is that we'll have less time together then we could have otherwise." The blond's eyes welled up with tears.

"Really?"

"Really-" the red-head barely got a chance to reply before nearly getting the wind knocked out of him when Roxas surprised him by pulling him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you," the blond barely choked out, holding Axel in a death grip. He was crying, hard. Axel returned the embrace. "I was so afraid of losing you… because I love you so much."

"Well I know now, and everything will be alright," He whispered, resting his chin on the smaller boy's head and letting the blond cry into his chest.

xXXXXXXXXXXx

Roxas smiled as the red-head handed him a plate full of pizza. Axel had pried himself away once the blond had calmed, returning with food for each of them. The couch shifted as the older boy sat and the red-head smiled as the blond took a bite of pepperoni pizza, and, rather hungrily, continued to eat.

"Axel?" Roxas asked, just as the red-head was about to take a bite of his own.

"Yes?" he asked, munching on his food.

"Would… would it be alright… to share a room?"

"I thought you didn't want to."

"That was because… of my… well… you know…"

"HIV?" Roxas closed his eyes, nodding. The red-head smiled.

"I'd love to."

"Really?" Axel nodded, making Roxas beam. "Do you want to push our beds together or…?"

"Together."

"Alright, babe. We can move your stuff into my room, whenever."

"Really?"

"Really." Roxas hugged the red-head excitedly, making the older boy smile. "…Actually, I lied. You have to finish your pizza first." Roxas laughed.

"Alright."

xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Roxas smiled happily. He and Axel had moved his bed into the red-head's room and pushed them together. They still had a way to go, with bringing the blond's belongings into the room, but it was a start at least. Axel flopped down on the conjoined beds, sprawling out across both, making the blond laugh softly. Those green eyes flashed upward, taking their owner's love in. Axel propped himself up on his elbows.

"Come here." Roxas' smile widened as he approached the red-head, stopping in front of him.

"Now what?"

"Lie beside me." Roxas did.

"And now?" he whispered. Axel smirked, grasping the blond's chin.

"Now I'm going to kiss you, that okay?" Roxas blushed.

"Guess so," he whispered back, just before the red-head captured his lips. Roxas grasped his lover's shoulders as he was pressed into the mattress and Axel deepened the kiss when the blond shuddered, but pulled back when he moaned.

"Guess I shouldn't get carried away…" Roxas pouted.

"You're right, I guess," he whispered, pout deepening. "This sucks."

"Hey, it'll be alright. Promise," he whispered, kissing the blond's forehead. Roxas smiled up at the red-head, watching as he lay down beside him once more.

"Yeah, you're right," he whispered back, snuggling closer and wrapping his arms around the taller boy. Axel wrapped his arms around the blond as well, and they lay like that for what felt like forever. "Axel?" Roxas whispered, afraid the red-head had fallen asleep. Axel hummed tiredly. "Thanks for being so understanding." The red-head nodded slowly.

"I thought about it… and it's not like I can stop loving you now… so I'm just going to cherish our time together, even if it'll be harder in the end," he whispered.

"Really?"

"Really."

"God… I must be a terrible person." Axel gripped the blond more tightly.

"Why would you say that?" Sapphire locked with emerald.

"You're so wonderful… and I'm causing you so much grief." Axel frowned.

"I think you're an excellent person."

"Why?"

"You've had so much go on in your life, yet here you are, doing your best to keep going, especially since none of it was your fault." Roxas shook his head.

"I've wanted to give up so many times… Just end it all… I even tried to a few times. The only thing holding me back was Cloud… and now you."

"Regardless, you're not a bad person. You didn't deserve any of this… I'm so glad that you didn't give up." Roxas stared down at the red-head's chest, smiling sadly.

"Me too."

xXXXXXXXx

-TBC-

A/N: I'd been hoping to update this on 5/5 since that was the 1 year anniversary for Bitter. Ran into a snag though—a good friend got married, and I witnessed the wedding. Also; catching up on homework. Ah well; Better late than never, right?

And on a brighter note (for all those who care), my grandma's cancer removal surgery went well, she even got to go home after being in a rest home for a week and a half, all I'm anxious about is whether or not she'll have to do chemo… but she's doing amazingly well so I'm not as worried.

Anyhow, I digress. Did you like the chapter? Please do let me know. Apologies again for FFN deleting my scene separators.


	14. Chapter 14

Rating:**M**

**Bitter**

Chapter 14

A/n: My God; I'm so sorry this fell into hiatus. I know a lot has happened in between; my computer crashed, I lost my update for this story, and since have gotten a new computer—which ALSO crashed, erasing the re-write –facepalm- and gave me writer's block, my Grandma died ]: I've moved twice, graduated college, had a baby AND was severely sick! But that's no excuse. I should have finished this a long time ago and I feel like I've been horrible to you, dear fans. I nearly died too, and you probably would've just thought I'd given up on writing ]: (BTW, If I haven't updated anything in a year, assume I've died. Otherwise if I decide to stop writing, which I most likely will not do, I will be courteous to let you know). SO after rereading the entire story, I'm determined to finish it for you (:

There's probably going to be one more chapter after this one.

xXx

Roxas woke up alone, sitting up as he stretched.

"Axel?" He called out, looking around.

"In here!" Roxas got up, going out into the living room. He smiled at the red-head who was sitting on the couch, browsing the internet with his laptop.

"What are you doing?" Beautiful green eyes locked with ocean blue. Axel smiled widely, shutting the laptop and setting it down. Then he patted the spot beside him. Roxas sat down beside him.

"Researching."

"Researching what?" Roxas asked, his heart fluttering a little. Axel smiled.

"What's safe and what isn't."

"And?"

"Sharing cups and stuff's okay," he whispered, fingers gently caressing the side of the blond's face, "And kissing," he whispered, leaning in and gently kissing the blond, "and sex, with condoms." Roxas' heart pounded. "But, if you don't want to have sex, I'm happy just to be with you. We do the other stuff already."

"Y-you're not scared to be around me?"

"I've been fine so far." Roxas hugged the red-head.

"Thank you for understanding… I've never told anyone before. Growing up, I was so scared that other people would hate me." Axel smiled.

"Your secret's safe with me." Roxas laughed a little.

"Good. I… don't want to have sex… It'd kill me if you caught this…"

"Okay, that's fine." Roxas smiled widely then hesitated.

"Are you still mad at me?" Axel bit his lower lip.

"I'll forgive you on one condition."

"What?"

"I don't want you to lie to me anymore. Okay?"

"Alright," he promised.

xXx

Roxas smiled at his red-head, kissing his forehead before pulling away. They'd had a long day of unpacking and bringing Roxas' belongings into Axel's room. Finally, after dinner, the two had decided to lie down and just hold one another. Axel had fallen asleep, whereas Roxas had not. "I love you," he whispered before slipping out of bed. He glanced back at the sleeping red-head, smiling. Smile widening, he went into the living room and called his brother. He frowned a little. It was raining out.

_"Hello?" _

"Hey Cloud."

_"Roxas, is everything okay?"_ Roxas smiled.

"Everything's perfect," he said, beaming. Cloud smiled.

_"That makes me happy to hear! I'm glad that you're so happy!"_

"Axel knows." Cloud's smile widened.

_"I told you he'd understand."_

"How did you know?"

_"Because I've never heard you sound so happy_," the blond said chuckling. _"I really am glad that you're so happy sweetheart. You deserve to be_." Roxas sniffled as he began to cry.

"Thank you. I hope you find some happiness again too…" Cloud hesitated for a long time.

_"I'm sure I will. Leon… He's been a really good friend. H-he's been helping me a lot w-with…"_ Roxas closed his eyes as his brother fell apart.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up…"

_"N-no I'm sorry…"_

"Don't be…" Roxas closed his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you were hurting so much? I wouldn't have left…" Cloud shook his head.

"_Then I'm glad that I didn't."_

"Why?"

"_Roxas… you've been miserable for eight years and that boy makes you happy. You deserve to be happy…"_ Roxas bit his lower lip, thinking hard.

"No I don't… I don't deserve Axel…" Maybe he should've thought about Cloud more and been there for him, for once in his pathetic life.

_"Why?"_

"Cloud… he deserves to be with someone that he can spend the rest of his life with…" Roxas gasped in surprise when arms wrapped around him from behind and Axel's chin rested on top of his head.

_"Rox?"_

"_I _want to live out the rest of _your _life with _you. _You'd miss me too much if I died first." Roxas' eyes widened. Cloud smiled at what he'd overheard.

"_He's got a point. I'll let you go, honey. Be good." _ Roxas nodded dumbly as the line went dead.

"I didn't think you'd hear me."

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop… but you sounded upset so I wanted to know what was wrong." Roxas turned around in Axel's arms, absentmindedly gripping his phone.

"Well… I love you and I… I want you to be happiest. I can't do that for you, so I don't deserve you." Axel pressed his forehead to Roxas.

"You're right." Roxas closed his eyes. "It's obvious to me that you love me. So much, that, you're willing to give up your happiness for mine." The blond blushed. "I just wish that you could see…" he said, grasping Roxas' hands, "_You_ _are_ what makes _me_ _happiest_." Roxas' hands trembled and he began to cry. "I'm much more willing to take a risk with you than without you."

"You're so wonderful… It isn't fair…" Axel sighed gently.

"_Life_… isn't fair." Roxas sobbed. The red-head shook his head. "No, no… Don't do that…" Roxas bit his lower lip. "C'mon, give me that beautiful smile that I love," he insisted. Roxas laughed a little. "There, that's better."

"Thanks." Axel smiled and hugged the blond.

"No problem."

xXx

Roxas woke to Axel shaking him.

"_Mmn_," he huffed wordlessly, batting the red-head's hand away and rolling over. Axel laughed and pulled the covers away. Roxas scoffed at him.

"Why are you so irritable?"

"I don't wake _you _up." The red-head laughed again.

"But I have something important to tell you." Roxas pouted a little then rubbed at his eyes to wake himself up.

"What is it?"

"I called the school and requested a later starting date." Roxas blinked.

"Why?"

"I want to spend as much time with you as I can." He gasped when Roxas hugged him.

"Thank you." Axel smiled.

"I'm just happy for the three extra school-free months that I get to spend with you."

"Me too."

"Oh! And I get to work hard to give you the best birthday you've ever had!" Roxas reddened.

"How did you know that my birthday's coming up?"

"Let's just say that Cloud's warming up to me." The smaller boy laughed.

"I'm glad."

xXx

They transitioned into living together well and before they knew it, a month had passed. Roxas smiled at his red-head as they sat on the couch together. They still had two more months before Axel was to start school and each boy had fallen dangerously further in love with the other. It made Axel want to do something very special for Roxas, and so, he was composing a song for Roxas' birthday that he wanted to get done in time to play for him. He didn't know how many birthdays he'd get to spend with the blond so, as he'd said, he wanted to make this one the best that Roxas had ever had.

"Why're you smiling?" he whispered, smiling himself.

"Because I love you and I'm happy." Axel's smile widened.

"I'm so glad that you're so happy here, with me."

"Me too." The red-head leant in, closing the space between them, tasting the blond's lips. Roxas kissed him back a little timidly. Axel pushed the smaller boy down, kissing him again, gently this time.

"Is this okay?"

"Yes." Axel climbed on top of him and Roxas' hands wove themselves into fiery red hair. "Please kiss me again." The red-head smiled then did as Roxas asked. The blond responded, brushing his tongue against Axel's when the red-head deepened the kiss, ravishing his mouth. He pulled him down and closer, gasping when hands slid up his shirt, memorizing his chest with them before hesitating.

Axel pressed his forehead to Roxas' as the blond panted. "I wish that I could touch you more," he whispered, fingering Roxas' arousal through his pants. "I wish… that I could drive you wild." Roxas smiled.

"It means so much more to me that you can't do those things to me, no matter how badly you want to, yet you still want to be with me."

"But… I wish that I could make you feel good."

"You _do_ make me feel good, Axel. More importantly, you make me so happy." The red-head smiled and kissed Roxas again before just holding him. "Hey, Axe?"

"Yeah?"

"I've got to go home in a week." Axel blinked, staring down at the blond curiously.

"What for?"

"I… get checkups four times a year, just to make sure I'm okay. It eases Cloud's mind." Axel nodded.

"Alright. Do you want me to go with you?" Roxas shook his head.

"It'd be nice to spend some time with Cloud. I miss him…" The older boy nodded again.

"I completely understand."

"Thank you." Axel smiled.

"Not a problem." Roxas smiled too, wrapping his arms around his love again and pulling him into his chest so that they could hold one another. He never wanted to let go.

xXx

"Roxas… your CD4 level has dropped dramatically…" the blond closed his eyes. He'd been waiting to hear those words for almost nine years, so he knew exactly what they meant, "we recommend that you start advanced treatments to-" The blond shook his head, starting to cry.

"I… I just want to spend the rest of my time with Axel."

"Roxas, you'll die sooner. The AIDS will-" Sad blue eyes locked with those of his physician he'd had since he was little—Dr. Vexen White.

"Regardless, I'll die of an infection and I'm not going to die in a hospital, Doctor, not when I can die in the arms of someone who loves me. Please don't tell Cloud about this." The Doctor hesitated.

"Alright."

xXx

Cloud smiled at his brother as he came into the waiting room.

"Hey honey! How'd it go?" Roxas swallowed his fears and smiled back. He needed to convince Cloud that he was fine.

"Great! Hey, I'll be right back… I have to make my next appointment okay?" The older blond smiled. "Alright." Roxas went to the counter, handing in the Doctor's order for his next appointment. The receptionist took a few minutes because she had to answer the phone, but Roxas didn't mind very much. It gave him time to pull himself together. She smiled at him warmly when she handed him his appointment card. He smiled back. She'd worked here for a long time.

"Here you go Roxas, see you in the fall." Roxas' lips trembled as he smiled.

"Yeah. See you then," he replied before walking back to his brother.

"Should we celebrate your health and your happiness?"

"Nah, I don't want to jinx myself. Let's just celebrate because we're together." Cloud hugged his brother.

"Alright."

xXx

Axel smiled brightly as Roxas entered their apartment three hours later. "Hey beautiful, how'd your Doctor visit go?" Roxas smiled.

"Just fine." He grasped Axel's shoulders and stood on his toes, his smile widening just before he kissed the red-head. "I love you." Axel smiled back.

"I love you too." Roxas coughed a little. "Are you okay?" The blond smiled.

"Yeah, must just be a cold." He turned away to hide the sadness he felt. He'd been coughing for an entire week before he'd gone to the doctor and with the AIDS about to run rampant and kill off his white blood cells alarmingly fast… he knew it wasn't a good thing. "I'm gonna make some iced tea. Do you want any?"

"Yeah, that sounds nice." Roxas smiled back at the red-head.

"Okay."

xXx

Roxas smiled, picking up the finished tea as Axel played a beautiful song on the piano. They'd moved the piano into the smaller bedroom, since they were sharing a room, so that they had a bigger living space in the living room. He walked into the room and Axel stopped playing to drink tea with Roxas.

"Thanks." Roxas smiled warmly.

"You're welcome."

"So… Your birthday's in two weeks and I was wondering what you wanted to do." Roxas' smile widened.

"Well, Cloud's coming up, if that's okay," Axel laughed.

"Of course it is."

"Good." The blond leant back in his chair. "I don't know… maybe we can go to the ocean. You haven't taken me there yet."

"That sounds like fun."

"Yeah."

"Can I draw a heart in the sand and sit in it with you as we watch the sun set? Or will your brother feel left out?" Roxas smiled at the sweet idea.

"I think he'll be alright. He's bringing his new girlfriend for me to meet." Axel blinked.

"I thought he liked Leon." Roxas blushed.

"Well… he said he was bringing someone for me to meet anyway. I was thinking it'd be his new friend, Yuffie." Axel hummed.

"Well they can spend the night if they need to; the couch has a hide-a-bed." Roxas smiled.

"Sounds great." He took a drink of tea. "Will you play for me?" he asked, glancing at the piano.

"Of course," he said, setting his tea down before beginning to play. It surprised Roxas because Axel usually asked what song he wanted him to play.

This new, bittersweet and beautiful melody made Roxas' spine tingle and his eyes water. It was absolutely stunning. "Who wrote that?" He asked when Axel stopped playing.

"I did." Roxas gasped.

"Really?"

"Yes. Do you like it?" Tears slid down Roxas' face.

"It's breathtaking." Axel smiled.

"Good… because it's for you." Roxas gasped again.

"Really?" Axel nodded.

"Yeah. It's inspired by you and the feelings I have for you in my heart and in my soul. It's meant for your birthday and is unfinished… but it just felt right to play it for you now." The blond wiped his eyes as he cried harder.

"I didn't realize that I was such a big part of your heart."

"You are." Roxas smiled.

"Then I will always live on in your heart and in your soul. Even when I'm gone, I will never die. And when you play this song for me, I'll come alive as you pour me into your music. I'll always be close to you."

Brilliant green eyes searched Roxas'. "Why are you talking like that?" Roxas smiled.

"Because, when my time comes, I want you to know that I'll never be far away. I don't want you to be sad." Tears slid down Axel's cheeks.

"God, Roxas. I don't know what I'm going to do when that day comes." Roxas frowned, feeling his heart break.

"Will you help Cloud through it?" He asked, knowing that they'd help each other if he did. Axel grasped Roxas' hands.

"Why are you talking like this? You're scaring me." Roxas shook his head.

"I just want my loved ones to be taken care of when I die. Is that so bad?" Axel calmed.

"Alright… I will. I promise." Roxas smiled brightly then kissed the red-head. When he pulled back, he went into a coughing fit. Axel looked concerned. "Are you okay? Maybe you should get that looked at." Roxas shook his head, giving the red-head a cheerful smile.

"I was just there, remember? I'll be fine."

"Alright." Roxas hugged the red-head.

"I'm gonna go take a shower okay?" Axel's chin rested on top of his head.

"Yeah, okay." Roxas pulled away, kissing his cheek before going into the bathroom. As soon as he'd shut and locked the door behind him, tears slid down his cheeks as his lips trembled. He turned on the water, took off his clothes, then got in and cried his eyes out.

xXx

The days leading up to Roxas' seventeenth birthday flew by quickly and as they did, Roxas' cough got progressively worse. Of course, he did his best to hide it from Axel who kept insisting that he go back to the doctor. He felt absolutely miserable and achy and had a fever, but he already knew it'd do no good. He wouldn't recover and he wanted to die in Axel's arms. Nowhere else.

Soon, before either of them knew it, they were in bed, the night before the blond's birthday, just holding one another. Roxas had called Cloud, telling him that he missed him and that he loved him, like he did every night. When he was done, Axel bit his lower lip; he had something important to ask Roxas.

"Can I ask you something serious? You can just consider it if you want to." Roxas propped himself up.

"Of course you can."

"Will you marry me?" Roxas smiled widely, even though he was exhausted, excitement clearly showing on his face.

"Of course I will! When?"

"Tomorrow. On the beach, for your birthday." Roxas' eyes shined brilliantly as tears slid down his cheeks.

"Of course I will!" Axel smiled broadly, kissing the blond.

"Perfect." Roxas smiled.

"Yes, it will be." Axel laughed, brushing Roxas' hair out of his eyes lovingly.

"I love you." Roxas smiled, kissing the red-head's hands.

"I love you more," he whispered, kissing the red-head one more time, each of them holding the other as they fell asleep.

xXx

Axel woke early then smiled at the blond in his arms. "Happy birthday, beautiful," he whispered, kissing Roxas' forehead, "I can't wait to marry you." He pulled back when Roxas didn't smile and snuggle closer like he usually did. "Rox?" He questioned. He shook the blond but Roxas didn't wake. Axel gasped, panicking—Roxas was so cold… He felt for a pulse. There was none. "Oh no... n-no!" Tears slid down the red-head's face. "R-Roxas! N-no! C-come b-ba-ack!" he barely managed, his voice cracking as he began to cry. _"Please…" _He held the blond to himself as he shook uncontrollably, filled with a raw and unfamiliar pain. _"Please, please, please come back, I don't want to live without you!"_ He sobbed over and over as his heart broke beyond repair.

xXx

-TBC-

A/n: Love it? Hate it? Let me know please? Thanks


	15. Chapter 15

Rating:**M**

**Bitter**

Chapter 15

A/n: Apologies for lateness. I was struggling to write this when "So Still" by Rada Neal on Sixth Serenade started playing on Pandora, based off of my likes. I just thought I'd share, 'cos it helped a lot. More Angsty-ness. Enjoy c:

xXx

Cloud sat beside Axel, neither man able to hide his grief. The red-head hated it. It made him bitterly cold inside. He wished he could die, rather than feel this way. He closed his eyes. _This could almost kill me_… he thought, sadly. He didn't know _how_ he was going to get past this… let alone through it.

"What happened? Why didn't you tell me he was sick?" Cloud finally asked. He'd gotten to Roxas and Axel's apartment early for Roxas' birthday, wanting to surprise his brother. It had broken his heart to find him in the hysterical red-head's arms, already long gone. It had taken a lot for Axel to finally let him go. Now, three days later, they were at Roxas' wake… and Axel looked so dead inside.

"He developed AIDS and h-he didn't tell me… He even asked the D-doctor not to say anything and pretended to be fine," Axel said numbly as he cried. "I thought he just sick with a cold, but he got PCP, which lead to pneumonia," the red-head sobbed shakily. "I-I tried to get him to go to the hospital, but he insisted he was f-fine," he said, crying harder. "I woke up and he was d-dead, in my arms."

Cloud hugged the hysterical red-head. "Why didn't he t-tell me, C-Cloud?"

"He… probably wanted the rest of your time together to be happy." They sat in silence for a long time. The red-head closed his eyes. Roxas had promised not to lie to him anymore. Why had he _lied_ to him? "He probably... didn't want to be seperated from you and then die." The red-head's heart clenched and he found himself understanding, just a little, supposing that if that'd happened, they'd both be more miserable. He just wished Roxas had _told _him. Cloud pulled him out of his thoughts. "Axel… I know that this will be difficult for you to think about right now…. But will you play something for him?" He asked. Axel hadn't touched a piano since he'd played Roxas' song for him.

"I… don't know," he whispered, overwhelmed with grief. How could he bring himself to play again… when it reminded him of Roxas more than anything else…?

"Will you try? It might ease your pain… and I know that he'd want that." Axel bit his lower lip then very hesitantly stood. With trembling hands, he went to the piano in the funeral home where Roxas' wake was being held, trying his hardest not to look at the casket.

Wordlessly, he began to play the introduction to Roxas' song, but kept fumbling, unable to focus. After many failed attempts, pain, anger and frustration built up and Axel banged his hands on the piano's keys out of that frustrated anger and cradled his head in his hands, crying uncontrollably.

"I can't do this, Cloud. I… I'm not strong enough! I don't ever want to play the piano again. It reminds me of him…"

"Roxas would hate to hear you say that! He'd hate to see you give up on your dream…" Axel bit his lower lip as tears slid down his face. "He's still alive in your heart, Axel. Don't give up." The red-head sobbed then wiped his eyes, Roxas' words coming back to him;_ I will always live on in your heart and in your soul. Even when I'm gone, I will never die. And when you play this song for me, I'll come alive as you pour me into your music. I'll always be close to you. _He bit his lower lip, wiping his eyes. "Thank you, Cloud." He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and tried again.

Tears slid down the red-head's cheeks as he thought of Roxas, focusing on him. The blond came alive in his mind, smiling at him as scenery formed around them. They were on the beach in Atlantica, hands joined as Roxas lead him backward. The small blond smiled at him happily and Axel looked down at their hands, gasping. There were matching rings on their left hands. This wasn't a memory… At best, it was a fantasy, because these events never happened.

Axel cried harder as he stared into beautiful ocean blue eyes. They stopped and he followed Roxas' gaze as he looked down, seeing a heart drawn in the sand and surrounding them. When his gaze met Roxas' again, the blond stood on his toes, gently kissing him then he whispered in Axel's ear: _Don't be sad, Axel… Follow your dream and I will come back to you. Someday, we'll meet again_.

Axel stopped playing and gasped audibly. Cloud looked at him confusedly. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah, fine."

"That was Amazing!" Cloud began to praise Axel, who immediately tuned him out and went over to Roxas' body. He placed a hand on his icy cold but beautiful face.

"You sure you're okay?" Axel nodded as fresh tears slid down his face, landing on Roxas'.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

He smiled a little. Despite the pain, he was hopeful. That hope was wonderful and uplifting and he clung to it because it was far better than fear and despair.

_Someday, we'll meet again. _Axel's small smile widened and he closed his eyes, sniffling quietly.

"Good. I'll be waiting," he whispered softly.

xXx

-The End-

A/n: I'm considering writing said meeting out but eh, Idunno. This' the happiest this' probably gonna get. Thanks for everything, especially for supporting me.

Review one more time and tell me you thoughts? Thanks (:


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